Color Me Red
by Po' PoCHi
Summary: Sakuragi's head is reeed~~ *well we all know that*! But what lies behind the truth will reveal the true face of Sakuragi... (yaoi, RuHana, ongoing)
1. shohoku, a part of his life

1 //Hanamichi… Hanamichi…//  
  
The calling echoed throughout the hollow mind that was drifted away into the world of dreams. He tighten his eyes shut and his lips twisted in pain. These dreams, this unclear and abstract dreams kept ringing in his mind, in the nights when he was asleep, lately. Thinking about it will drive himself crazy. That's why he hadn't focused much in the basketball practices. With no intentions of staying asleep, Sakuragi rolled out of his thin bed and his feet hit the floor. The morning breeze caressed his cheek and his bare skin. It's already 5 am in the morning, so he should go out of his room and perhaps cook himself breakfast and shower, since there's nobody around to serve him around.  
  
What should he do? Cook breakfast first or hit the shower immediately. The red-head rolled his eyes and think for a while. Yeah, he should probably cook first, since he'll get himself dirty if he's in the kitchen. He pulled out a frypan out of the closet and placed it on the stove. "Uh… This is sooo tiring… I wish I could have someone to do it for me… I wish Ka-san were here to cook for me all her tasty dishes…" He lit the stove with a single match. "Demo, how did I know that Ka-san's cooking were delicious… I couldn't remember a single thing about her except her voice, the familiar voice that I think I used to hear… I couldn't even remember how she looks and how she dresses," He inhaled the fresh morning air and looked up to the ceiling before he continued. "Wish you were here, Ka-san… Where are you now…?" Sakuragi grabbed few eggs and slices of bread from the rusty fridge. "Oh well, for now… I'm gonna cook the Tensai's special dish; French Toast!!" And there he goes, making the mess in the kitchen, cooking his favorite breakfast, the infamous Tensai french toast.  
  
After his morning chores had been done, i.e. dusting the floor, the yard, and making his own room up, cleaning the mess in the kitchen and not to mention take a clean shower, the 2nd year Shohoku student walked out of his small house, locked the main entrance, and went to walk to school. But before that, he always checked his mailbox every day, count that as a habit, to see if there's letters for him from his fans (haha, in his dreams -__-) or some other person. He groped inside the grimy mailbox and pulled out a bunch of letters. He grumbled to himself when he saw few bills that me must cover. "Maa… guess there's no fanmail for the tensai!" He piled the letters neatly and went to put it in through a small window opening, but then a piece of hard paper slipped out of the stack. It was a postcard, with the picture of a dunking Michael Jordan on the front. He stooped to picked it up and see who it was.  
  
Hey, Hanamichi-kun, how are you doing?  
  
I'v read the articles about your highschool basketball career in some sport magazines. I guess you're famous now, aren't you? Well then… nice writing to you… Bye  
  
Yours Truly,  
  
Sakuragi Mifuyu.  
  
"Aa… Ka-san?" There was nothing more written there, not even her telephone number or her address. Just that. Hanamichi hoped for more though, so that he could write back. He sighed and quickly put the stacks of bills inside through the opening and put the postcard from his mother in his bag. It was strange for her to write to him that way, though. He remembered the last card that she had sent him, it arrived in his hands about 4 years ago, a year before his father's death. All that she wrote in the postcard was Color your hair red… and there's no more sentences other to that. Sakuragi could barely remember the time when she had left him. It was about 8 years ago, he suppose, when he was just a child at 9. Why? Why did she left him? How could he possibly remember? The memory just seems to smudge out in his head, he couldn't think back and find a thing about it. He had missed her so much, he had longed for the day when he'll be able to see her again. Seems like a little of a chance, though, he can't even contacted her in any ways. But he never loses hope and wished that she would one day come to his house, since she knew his address.  
  
"Oi Hanamichi! Ready for school?" Tsukimiya, one of his friend from his cliques called out. Sakuragi turned to his back and find his three best friends walking in his back and greeting him, a way to start their walk together to school. With them, Sakuragi had found happiness, since he had lost his one and only father, and her mothers out in the world somewhere. Once he was too much overwhelmed by grief when his father was beaten to death, but the Sakuragi Gundan had find a way to cheer him up and bring him back to the old cheerful self. They meant a lot to him, they're now more than just ordinary friends to him, but perhaps they were a family to them. And besides, the gundan won't be complete if Sakuragi is missing.  
  
"Oh sure! I love school! I'll do anything just to go to school!!" He cried out as he lifted his muscly hands in the air.  
  
"Aaah, Hanamichi… Since when did you start to like school that much? I thought you were sick of them like we do." His best friend, Youhei, teased him playfully in a sarcastic tone. Sakuragi only laughed for a while before he spit out the answer. "Since Haruko-san came into my life!"  
  
"Ohayo, Sakuragi-kun! You call my name?" Out of their expectations, she popped out into their presence. They were walking in front of her house, no wonder. Now it's kind of awkward to see Haruko walking by herself to school, cause once she used to have her loving brother, the famous Gori, to accompany her. But now since he had graduated highschool, Haruko was now alone. But she was not sad, since the Sakuragi Gundan used to come by to pick her up and walk to school together, making Sakuragi floating in the air with happiness and joy surrounding him.  
  
"Aaa… Good morning, Haruko-san!" Sakuragi Hanamichi rubbed his head as his face were flushed red in the sight of Haruko.  
  
"Ohayo, Minna!" Ayako, the beautiful, wavy-haired manager were also in their way, walking side by side to the new captain of Shohoku Basketball Team, Miyagi Ryota. Not to mention, they were couples now, since Shohoku had beaten Sannoh on the previous Inter-High tournament. "Yea…Ohayou, Sakuragi… Haruko-san… And you guys…"  
  
"Hey it's kinda unusual to see this view in the morning!" Sakuragi bursted out his laughter. "The new Shohoku Basketball Club were gathering here altogether for a nice long walk to school!"  
  
"You forget about one guy, Do'aho…" And there comes the guy who's known as the famous Super Rookie, or the No. 1 Rookie across Japan, Rukawa Kaede, now in his second year, though.  
  
"Heh!" The long rival of his, Sakuragi, snorted as he grinned widely like a horse. "We, Shohoku won't need a foxy idiot like you, Rukawa! All they need is the tensai, Sakuragi!!"  
  
"Ohayo, Ayako-sempai… Ohayo, Captain…" Ignoring Sakuragi's foolish boasts, Rukawa bowed down to his seniors in respectful manner.  
  
"Teme, Rukawa!! How dare you ignore the tensai!!! You should pay for your dishonor!! I'll show you that I will completely beat your ass one day!!" Sakuragi crumpled his fists. Well, that's the way his daily life goes, with his friends and with the basketball teams. It's kinda bittersweet of what he went through each day, but without them, he himself is incomplete, for they had become the major role that plays in Sakuragi's life. But there was another substance that had cropped Sakuragi's whole life, the loss of his mother. 


	2. rukawa's past

The members of the Shohoku Basketball team gathered as they walked theirselves together to school, making a good start for the day. They were laughing and making a hell lot of noise, but it was okay, since it's the way to express their high mood for the day. "Ano, Haruko-san," Sakuragi started his sentence with a little bit of stuttering on the edges of the words. "…Aa… I bring your scarf that you gave to me yesterday."  
  
"Oh, Sakuragi-kun, that wasn't necessary. I wouldn't mind if you keep it, though…" Haruko rolled her eyes out of Rukawa's direction and switched it towards Sakuragi who's speaking to her. "I still have a lot of 'em in my bedroom closet…"  
  
Miyagi bursted out laughing. He clenched his hand on his shirt as he laughed his heart off. They who were listening all along blinked in confusion. "Hahahaha!!!! Just tell it, Haruko-san… You don't want it because it's still smelly of Sakuragi's dirty sweats! Hahahahaha!!! I knew it! I knew it!" And then his tease stopped as Ayako's one mighty weapon, the legendary paper fan, landed on her boyfriend's head, and not to mention, it landed hard. "Itaiii!!! Aya-chan…"  
  
"You don't have to be so rude, Honey… Grow up a bit, will ya, and stop teasing poor Sakuragi Hanamichi…" She folded her arms across her chest as her lover were crying in pain.  
  
"That's not true, Haruko-san!!! I knew you offered me the hanky because I didn't bring a towel yesterday. And yes, I did use it but I already washed it last night. Therefore you didn't have to worry about anything… It's… It's clean as new!!!" He moved his hands down to his bag to search for the pink scarf that belongs to Haruko and when his fingertips feel the fabric of it, he pulled it out. Accidentally, the postcard that her mother had sent him was pulled out too and it landed on the dark asphalt. "Ahahahahaha!!! Look, look! It's clean right?" Gently, Sakuragi handed the folded cloth to Haruko.  
  
"You're right, Sakuragi-kun! It is clean!" Haruko smiled heartly as she accepted the scarf onto her hands. "Wow, Sakuragi-kun, I bet you were good in housekeeping… I'm impressed. Lately, males were too lazy to take care of their own room. If I walk into guys' rooms, most of them were probably messed up. But I think I will find Sakuragi-kun's room clean and neat! I'm so proud of you, Sakuragi-kun!" Reaching out her thin hands, her fingers run through the red strands of hair on his head. Sakuragi almost fly high when Haruko was patting him.  
  
"Chi… Yeah if his room was clean, his mom did it for him, probably." Rukawa who was walking way back snorts softly, but loud enough for Sakuragi to hear his scorn.  
  
"What the--! Don't even think about it… I live alone and I did take care of my own house, and it's neat as it can be." Sakuragi shoot out Rukawa's mockery back. "I bet your mom does all your laundry, don't you, Kitsune?" The fox-eyed lad didn't reply. Instead he swayed his eyes and looked at the trees that were planted on the sides of the road, giving shades from the stinging rays of the sun. "Chi… Don't ignore me!! Well, I guess he did that because he's just afraid to tell the truth that I'm right!"  
  
"In your dreams, Do'aho…" Finally, Rukawa spoke up from a long silence. "You don't know anything. Don't be so proud that you live on your own and do things by yourself. Don't think that you're the only person who's capable of taking care of yourself, for myself are living all by myself."  
  
"Oh, I didn't know about that, Rukawa-kun. Where are your parents?" Ayako cut the tongue fights between the two rivals, just to add more peace before anything harmful could happen. "I've heard a little about Sakuragi, though, but I didn't know you live on your own."  
  
Rukawa at first refused to tell the story. Then he decided to just speak and say a couple of things about them. "I… don't know where they are…" After he spit out the sentence, Sakuragi, who's eyes had turned sharp in angst, now were softened and his crumpled fists hung down loose. All of them stopped walking and their eyes turned to Rukawa, who was standing behind them. Sakuragi didn't know he was getting softer to him, so he solved out things to say just to cover his feelings. "Ahahaha! Poor you, Kitsune. I guess your father and mother left you. Yare yare, no wonder, who wants a fox-faced boy like you? Hahahaha!!!"  
  
"Sakuragi-kun…!" Haruko's voice raised up, her tone speaks of warning of not to say those kinds of nasty things to him, afraid that he would get hurt.  
  
"Maybe… I guess they did…" Simply, Rukawa answered and began to make his way through the crowds of the Shohoku students. All were stunned of his answer, their eyes widened, and that includes Sakuragi Hanamichi himself.  
  
"Sakuragi Hanamichi! You shouldn't have said things like that," Ayako tapped him on the back as he spoke to him lightly. "I guess he's hurt now because of you, fool!"  
  
"It's alright, Sempai… I'm used to be beaten up and it hurts more than that Do'aho's sappy critics…"  
  
"Rukawa-kun…"  
  
(flashback)  
  
'Kaede! I know you had a bad grade on the test today!!'  
  
'Gomen, Kaasan… I didn't have the time to study last night… I got to help to finish assignments…'  
  
'What a good liar you are! Don't you think I don't know what you have been doing! You always play and play and play! You've abandoned too many homeworks! How could a lazy twit like you make an assignment? All you can do is play and get horrible grades! What will become of you in the future?!'  
  
And soon after that, Rukawa layed down on the tiles of his living room. A stream of blood run down from his torn lips. His face were covered in beating bruises. There were no more strength left in him, he wasn't able to stand up or move anymore. Every single inch in his muscles, in his skin, hurts so bad. Both of his parents, his father and mother, had beaten him up. He cried, he cried both in pain in his body and for his wounds in his soul. Well it has become normal for him, since almost everyday, this happened to him.  
  
It happens often, it has become Rukawa's daily life, the things that he must go through in his life. It's hard, he know, but he tried to bear all the pain. But there was too much, he must face too many sufferings each day, until he can't stand up anymore. So then he decided to run away from everything, he stole a few money from his parent's wallet and ran away, far from their reach. But unfortunately his money then runs dry, he got only an amount enough for him to go back to his house. Questions ran in his head as he walked back on his bare feet to his small house. He hoped that when he arrived to his home, his parents would already misses him and will greet him back with open arms. But it was not like what he thought and wished for. When his knuckles knocked on the wooden varnished door, his mom opened the door and stood there in front of his with his hands on her hips. Rukawa tilted his head to see the expression on her face fearfully. It doesn't paste the feelings of missing him or wanting him to return back home, but it was more to angry because Rukawa had done such stupid thing.  
  
'Imbecile child! Where have you been? What has make you so foolish to run away like that? Don't you know that you have a house here?! Or is it you want to get away from us, you don't want to obey us anymore?'  
  
'Gomen, Kaasan… I did this without much of thinking…'  
  
'Of course you did, you son of a bitch! Where's your brain? Not only you run away from home but you take Tousan's money too! Little bastard!!'  
  
Without thinking any further, both his father and mother began hitting him until they gave a cut on his right forehead.  
  
'How do you guys feel when you are hitting me? Aren't you ever satisfied after you see your son bleed like this? Will you ever stop…? Don't you know how much it hurts?'  
  
'What?! How dare you talk to us like that? A child who has no respect! Think about it yourself. Who wants a son who has no respect to his parents? A son who keeps on repeating the same mistakes. A son who's not giving any benefit to his parents. Do you know who that is? It's you, you slut! You! You! You! You! You!'  
  
'Tousan's right about that! We don't want a child like you! Someone who will bring shame to the name of the family!'  
  
'I will not bring shame to the name of our family if you only give me chances.'  
  
'How dare you!! That's it! I have enough of you! We're sick enough of you! From now on you will no longer be our family! You will no longer sleep with us under the same roof! You shall leave! Leave and never come back! Let the bad guys come and get you, and sell you as a slave, or a prostitute! Let you be a rotten person like whom you are deep inside! We'll see what you'll be in the future if you survive, Kaede!'  
  
'Where are you going?'  
  
'We're going nowhere! You're the one who's leaving! And remember, Kaede, there will be no more 'Rukawa' in your name! You're no longer a part of us!!'  
  
And with that they kicked him out of his house onto the streets. Days and night he kept walking with bare feet on the streets of Kanagawa. Fortunately, not long after that, his uncle, who married the sister of his father, found him. Because his wife himself had received the bad information about Rukawa, he decided that he will raise him up as the child himself without her knowing about it. Since the couple were a very rich family, Rukawa's uncle bought a posh apartment for him and each month he will sent him an amount of money so that he can survive.  
  
(end of flashback)  
  
Rukawa rubbed his lips with his palm. Why should he remember those bitter memories that he had buried deep within his mind a long time ago? He had put a note about what his mother had said regarding about his future. "What will I be in the future if I survive? I will be big, Kaasan… I'll be big, Tousan…"  
  
a.n : end of chapter two. Hehehe yeah yeah in my fic Rukawa got a dark and sad past. Don't blame me… T_T Anyways, continue, please… don't forget to read n review about my fic. 


	3. so much in common

It was a long walk to school together, and now they finally reached it. They made it just in time, just before the bell has rang. Quickly after they stepped into the school yard, they then rushed to their own classes in order not to be tardy or else they'll be punished. It's the second year of theirs, and the school year had just freshly started. It's only about 2 months since they graduated their first year of highschool. Well, it's a fresh new start for them, almost everything is different, the classes, the club, the kids. There are only a few things that hadn't change since the previous year, which are Rukawa and Sakuragi's daily quarrels, and Sakuragi's major crush upon Haruko.  
  
"Teme, Kitsune! Why are you following me?! Get off my back!!" Sakuragi stopped climbing the stairways as he noted that Rukawa had been tailing him all along.  
  
"Do'aho… Who's following you? I'm just walking to my class." He snorted at Sakuragi's comments.  
  
"But this is MY class that you're going to!" Sakuragi pointed out his finger towards the hanged sign that bears the writing of '2-3'. "Wait a minute, don't tell me that you're in the same class with me." Then he rolled his eyes as he started thinking about it. "Are you? Hmm… Wa!! You are!! Teme, Kitsune!!"  
  
"Get off my way before the second bell rings, Do'aho…" Rukawa forced his way through Sakuragi's presence, causing to bump into him and made him fell flat-butted onto the floor.  
  
"How dare you, Kitsune Otoko!!!!!!! Don't you think you can get away with this! Come back here and fight like a man!!!" He crumpled his fist as the other one were stretched out to grab Rukawa's uniform, hailing him from making his way to the classroom.  
  
"Get lost, Do'aho… My time's to precious to spend arguing with you…" He yanked his shirt out of Sakuragi's grip and slipped away. Angered, the red- head sophomore quickly jumped onto his toes and run to catch him.  
  
"Damn you, Rukawa!" Bop, and there flies Sakuragi's fist, swinging in the air, hitting Rukawa's left cheek. A stream of blood ran down from the partings of his lips, down to his chin, and even to his neck. "That serves you right…" He smiled, seems to be glad of it and rubbed his hands together.  
  
Without warning, Rukawa flung his feet high and kicked Sakuragi on the stomach. "Don't you ever get tired of those hollow tensai crap? I'm sick enough of your shitty boasts. I even get tired of looking at your pathetic face, Do'aho…" He threw those sharp mocks straight to Sakuragi Hanamichi, who's bending his back frontwards as his hands were on top of his muscled- stomach, still aching in pain.  
  
"Bitch… I'm sick of your one-man show everytime at the practice. I'm sick of you trying to get attention from the people everytime we have a game, even a practice game! I'm sick and tired of those stupid little fan-club of yours! They're sickingly loud, don't you know that? Let me tell you one thing, Rukawa Kaede… They didn't love you thoroughly, ya know! They only love you from the 'outside' d'ya know what I mean? They like your cutie cutie face, they like your superb basketball skill, but they don't like you on the inside. 'cause in the inside, you totally suck!! You patheticly suck!!" He scorned out those evil thoughts out to pierce Rukawa's heart. He was hurt, yeah he was hurt. But he didn't just stand there in silence as he reconsidered his own poorness. Instead he gathered bad things recorded in his mind to spit it back to Hanamichi, as a form of revenge. He then pulled out a postcard from his pocket.  
  
"What about this," he simply said, "this postcard…?"  
  
Sakuragi stared at him in disbelief. It's his postcard, from his mother. How come it is in Rukawa's hand? What had happened and where did he get it anyway? "Postcard from… Ka-san…"  
  
Rukawa flipped the card over and read out the words written on it. "I've read about you…" He grimaced after he had read the whole thing, and looked at the back side to see if there is any writing rather than that short sentences. "Is that all your mom can say to you…? Later this morning you kid me about my parents… Now what about yours, Do'aho…?"  
  
Sakuragi gave no reply. This time his lips were trembling. His eyes looked terrified as it looked around every edges of the hallway. Beads of cold sweats were starting to pile up on his forehead. "Teme Kitsune! It's none of your fault!! Give me back! Give me that god-damned postcard back!!" He reached out his hands and to snatch it out of Rukawa's fingers. Rukawa dodged his arms and held the card captive in his hands.  
  
"What's your problem, Do'aho…? I finally coped out your secrets, didn't I?"  
  
"TEME! Hand it back or else I'm afraid I have to use force on you!!!!" He struggeld hard to touch the edges of the postcard, but Rukawa's way more speedier than him. Sakuragi was too slow. Then unexpectedly, the second bell rang and they hadn't even enter their class yet. They were tardy. As a punishment, the homeroom teacher sent them to stand outside until the first session is over, and they weren't allowed to sit down. "This is all because of you, Kitsune!"  
  
Rukawa only shrugged as he leaned his back against the cold, white-painted walls of the vacant hallways. "Who started it?"  
  
"Not me for sure!!!"  
  
"It would've been easier if you pay no attention to me at first and not start hitting me on the face, Do'aho…"  
  
"I couldn't stand it! You were so annoying!!"  
  
"You are MORE annoying than me, Do'aho!"  
  
"Urusai, Kitsune!"  
  
"Do'aho…"  
  
"Kitsune!"  
  
"Do'aho!"  
  
The teacher then slid the door open and stared at them with deadly stares. "Could you two be quiet? I'm trying to teach here…"  
  
"Sumimasen…" They both bowed down and apologized. Then the teachers comes back into the class again, leaving them staring at each other without blinking.  
  
"Stop staring at me," Sakuragi finally broke the silence between them, but his eyes were still nailed onto Rukawa's. "I know I'm handsome but stop staring at me!"  
  
"Handsome? Take a good look at yourself in the mirror, Do'aho… I bet everytime you see your own reflection, you bawl like a baby…" Rukawa shot back.  
  
Pissed, Sakuragi growled and narrowed his eyes. "Well excuse me… I think you better recognise what you're saying! I think you're the one who'll cry, looking at yourself, knowing that you don't have parents anymore. And what's more bitter is that they're not there for you because they're dead or whatever… They left you!! Poor you, Kitsune…!" That wasn't necessary for Sakuragi to taunt him about his family.  
  
"Well, Do'aho… What about you? I don't think your mother cared much about you," pulls out the postcard from his trouser's pocket, "and this shows it all!"  
  
"At least I still can hear from my mom! At least I still have one even though I don't know where she is right now! Now I know why you're never smiling, Kitsune! You never were happy, right?! And I'll tell you one thing, you'll never will!" Sakuragi snarled at him without thinking about what he is talking about. Rukawa stood still there quiet as his eyes were fixed onto the couple of sparrows which were standing outside, beyond the glass window. They were feeding each other and they were cuddling onto each other, as if they had found the perfect happiness. Sakuragi looked at the pale face and he noted something, tears. It was in his eyes, welled up, ready to fall. Perhaps what he had said is too much. "…suman."  
  
He finally decided to talk as he pulled the tears back from his foxy eyes. "You're right about one thing… Once when I was young, the kids from my school used to sit in groups in a huge circle, telling each other about what their parents did and gave to them during the weekend. Most, even all of them except me shared a great and cheerful story. And when my turn comes, all I can do is sit there and freeze. They asked me why, and I mentioned it all… My parents left me." He took a deep breath before he continued his long tale of his bitter past. On the other hand, Hanamichi, he listened carefully to Rukawa's story. He is interested in a few way. One is it is because it's Rukawa's past which not even anybody had known, and the other is because he felt that they both had a similar fact about their family life. "They began to take distance away from me, they all thought that because I don't have a family, I am different for them…"  
  
Sakuragi knew there were more to that, but Rukawa kept silent for a while. He didn't carry on talking. Sakuragi gave him time, though, for he know it's kinda hard to speak about his life especially to his rival or his minor enemy, his opponent, etc. "Well… Nowadays, people whom I met used to ask how my parents were, and how I acted when I was a kid. Most of them said that they had a teriffic childhood time. It made me think that I don't belong in the community that's made up of normal people…"  
  
"Even if you don't have parents it doesn't mean you aren't normal!!!" Rukawa's dim pair of eyes turned to Sakuragi shockingly. The last things that he heard coming out from his mouth is things that is unpleasant and mockery towards him. Now it is those words that gives support and motivation. Sakuragi cupped his mouth, knowing that he had hollered it out because he run out of control. His emotions for Rukawa were overwhelming him. "Well… Everybody is different in different ways…"  
  
"Oh…" That is the word that Rukawa can ever think about in his mind that time. He then shook his head and tried to change the flow of the talk. "Well then, what about your mom?"  
  
Sakuragi lowered his head as he drowned deep in thought, gathering up the remaining pieces of memories that he had about his mother whom had left him from a long time. "I… I have limited knowing about her… It was a long time ago when she left me and my dad… I can't remember when… Perhaps when I was 7 or 8 years old, she left me in a snap, just like that. And after that I don't remember anything more about her…"  
  
"After my dad died, she then kept sending me postcards. But it often came too. She only sends one every year. I don't know why… Even the message written were only 2 or 3 sentences. The last time that I got, it's a Shaq card, and on the back, she wrote this : color your head red. I don't know what that means… So I obeyed her, and now that's why my head is red."  
  
"Sou ka…? Well you're lucky you still got to heard things from your mom. Now I don't even know where they are and even if I knew, they wouldn't let me see them no more…"  
  
"But still…! I missed her and I wanna see her… She didn't let me see her too, she didn't write her address on the cards. Even the telephone numbers. There's no way that I could reach her."  
  
"Hmm…" Rukawa nodded in agreement. Then the classroom door slid open as the teacher stepped out into their presence. His hands were on his hips. He looked at them from the corner of his eyes of his tilted head.  
  
"You two… I think it's enough… Come on, step into the class… I'm explaining an important material right now."  
  
Before entering the class, both of them took a long glance at each other. They then walked inside into their own seats and pulled out the books and materials needed for the lesson. "That Do'aho… I never thought we had so much in common…" 


	4. sakuragi's bitter truth

"Deuce!" The captain entered the gym. Everybody stopped their actions to greet him, who was walking beside the senior manager of the club, his lover. Then they all straighten their backs and stand up straight.  
  
"Deuce, Captain!!!" They welcomed them in respectful behavior, the way they used to do it every day.  
  
"Alright, Minna… Gather up." And they then abided his instructions. All of them, who were scattered around the rectangular gym, then rushed towards Miyagi who was standing before the entrance. Before he carry on to speak of today's material, he looked around and observed every face that were there before him. "Everybody here?" They all nodded. "Alright, all of you will practice basic lay-ups and shoots. Y'all will be divided into two groups. Each will line up and face the hoops. Rookies, be sure to watch your seniors and examine their play. Learn from it to improve yourself. Okay then, divide yourself into two groups now. Move! Move! Move!" As he clapped his hands, the entire team formed two lines, each facing the opposite rings on the ends of the gym.  
  
Each of them started running towards the hoop in a rythmic pace. Right, left, right, jump. Some missed, some scored. Most of the newcomers missed, though. Only those who had the advantages of height made it. Rukawa, however, didn't miss a single try. He was bored of this basic practices, he believed that he had mastered it all since the previous year. So when it comes to his turn now, instead of performing a lay up, Rukawa jumped higher, the ball in his lifted hand. He then dunked it into the hoops. Everybody's eyes turned to him, some were whispering. "Oi, Rukawa!! What are you doing? This is not a dunking session. Focus on lay-ups!!" Rukawa said nothing. He went outside to pick up the ball that had rolled out of the gym. As he exit the gym slowly, his lazy eyes then spotted a woman in dark indigo suit with beautiful, dark tan, wavy hairs. Rukawa was startled by her beaty, but however, he know that she's in her 30s. She's too old for him, so he threw his face away from her sight.  
  
"Ano… You are Rukawa Kaede, right…?" Her voice was trembling as if she was frightened or hesitating. Rukawa nodded in reply. "Uhh… So this is Shohoku High… Do you know Sakuragi Hanamichi?"  
  
"What's in between you two? Are you his fans?" Coldly, Rukawa spit out his rude questions as he threw the ball lightly in his palms. The lady shook her head and forced a smile.  
  
"Do you have time…?" She pleaded.  
  
Rukawa looked into the gym and noted that they were still practicing lay ups. His head then turned back towards her. "Yeah sure… I'm bored of this lay-up nonesense…" She lead him towards the vacant spot, not far from the gym. There were tall trees growing among the park, giving cool shades for them. "Who are you and what's up with that Aho?"  
  
She looked around to make sure that there's nobody around them to hear their conversation. When all seems secure, she lifted up her round face to look at Rukawa, who was about 30 cms taller than her. "Can I trust you?"  
  
Rukawa arched his brow in disbelief. Is this woman out of her mind? Why did she kept doing some stupid acts. The raven-haired lad shrugged as he breathed out heavy air. "What do you think? Huh?"  
  
"I believe I can trust you," she simply said as a confident smile were attached on her cherry lips (wow, garbage ^^). She sat down on the wooden and rusty bench that were available. She then signaled Rukawa to follow her and sit down there beside her. Rukawa did as she told him to.  
  
"Who are you and why are you here?" Impatiently Rukawa asked. She talked too much. He wanted to know things that are straight to the point. Not like this.  
  
"My name's Mifuyu, Sakuragi Mifuyu…" She finally announced her real identity.  
  
Rukawa's eyes widened. "Sa-sakuragi Mifuyu? Are you his sister or aunt or something?" The position of 'mom' were unthinkable in his head for her because she's too young to be Sakuragi's mom. She's in her early thirties, and Sakuragi's stepping onto 18 right now. But he knew that Sakuragi Mifuyu is the name that is written on the postcard. And if Sakuragi mentioned it to be his mom then…  
  
"Iie… I'm his mom…"  
  
"That couldn't be true… How old are you?" Rukawa narrowed his eyes and bent his head to examine her face, making sure she doesn't have nasty, barely- visible wrinkles on her face. He couldn't find any, her face were still smooth and clean.  
  
She giggled to herself lightly to see the reaction of the highschool lad that's sitting beside her right now. "Maa maa, Rukawa-kun… That's not a polite question to ask a female."  
  
"…If you don't mind, though…" He added it towards his inquiry even though it's kinda too late.  
  
"I'm 34, stepping onto 35…" Her eyes turned serious. She then glanced back at Rukawa. "I know what you're thinking, Rukawa-kun. I know you're thinking that I'm too young to be Hanamichi's mother… Demo, I have a story to that…"  
  
"Does that story connects with the reason why you're leaving him?"  
  
Her eyes then turned wide abruptly. "How… How did you know such things…?"  
  
Rukawa simply shrugged. "We all know that he's living with his father… And living alone now, since his father died…"  
  
She remained silence. She then hesitated to carry on. Her lips seemed shaking. This Rukawa must've known more about Sakuragi. She's greatly jolted by her own fear for him. Rukawa must've known something. Or else, he could've just think that Sakuragi's mother had died too. Now that he knows that secret, Mifuyu scrupled to tell the story that she promised to share. Perhaps now all she can do is tell the whole truth. "Promise not to tell anybody?" She finally began.  
  
"…Yeah." He agreed to kept it as a secret, away from everybody except the two of them. Even Hanamichi, the son of this lady, himself.  
  
"Sakuragi Hanamichi… I don't think he knows anything about this…" She paused to inhale the fresh air that surrounds her head. "I… I don't think he also know that the father he had been living with all the time is not his real father."  
  
And with that Rukawa felt himself shudder. What does this woman means? His heart beat faster, knowing that this should be an interesting background story about Sakuragi Hanamichi.  
  
"That boy… He didn't came from him (the father). I… It was rather said that… He was… unwanted."  
  
"What do you mean?!" Rukawa quickly hollered the question. "What do you mean by being unwanted…?" He now feels agitated and hungers for the truth. Not to mention he also feels pitiful for Sakuragi, now that his own mom stated it.  
  
"…I was raped when I was 17… And… There was how Hanamichi came into this world…"  
  
"There was more to that, though… While I was pregnant… I became so stressed, I even take alcohols and I smoked. I know it would harm the baby but… I don't know… I was so depressed. I was grateful, though, because Hanamichi was born in a perfect condition but then…" She stopped.  
  
How sad the story was. How bitter it is. Sakuragi Hanamichi… He didn't know his own father. He was deceived, he thought that the father he had lived all his life with, he thought it was his real father. His father in his blood. "But then what?"  
  
Her eyes, wet and full of teardrops, narrowed as she cupped her mouth. "I don't know… The doctor stated that he suffered of a serious disease, caused by my uncarelessness of taking alcohol and tabacco…" And the next thing Rukawa know is that he unconciously slipped his arms around her and pulled her close, allowing her to cry on his muscled chest. "Sakuragi Hanamichi… suffered… minor blood cancer…"  
  
What? Blood cancer? That's one hell of a serious and uncurable disease. And now the one and only and special-characterized Sakuragi Hanamichi, the long rival that Rukawa had known, is suffering from it? And now does it mean that he's dying also? This must be a nightmare. Rukawa only stared at the vacant narrow path in front of him in shock. Meanwhile, the lady in his arms are still crying. Rukawa didn't know what to do know.  
  
"I felt guilty… I felt guilty! So I faked a marriage with that man that Sakuragi only know as his father… And… And when he was 8 years old, I couldn't bear it anymore. I thought that I was bearing too much guilt by raising him up cause I know his life would come to an end soon! I couldn't face it anymore so I left him, hoping that he would vanish from the corners of my mind…"  
  
"Idiot… Now you feel more blameworthy because you kept hiding the truth on his back for his whole 17 years of age, right?"  
  
Mifuyu looked up and stared at the sophomore. "…That's… true…" She tried to hold back the tears and wipe the ones that were on his face away so that she could continue to talk. "The doctor stated that… He should only be able to survive until 14… Hanamichi is a strong boy… And I know he could last longer than that… Even without medicines. I worried too much, though, so I send him a postcard, telling him to color his head red. So that whenever I walk around the streets of Kanagawa, if I saw a red-colored head and a pair of hazel eyes. I know that it's him, and I could watch him from afar…"  
  
"Why? Don't you think putting an end to your hide and seek game is better than watching him from a distance?" Mifuyu pulled back to sat up straight again. Rukawa's head was now filled with confusion. Questions of thought ran in his mind, and he was unable to think clearly.  
  
"I'm afraid… I'm afraid to meet him… I'm afraid that he will hate me after he had coped the secrets that I had been hiding from him!" She announced loudly. Before Rukawa could throw out another question, Ayako came running out of the gym, shouting out for his name.  
  
"Rukawa!!! Rukawa!!" What's the matter? Panic were printed on her face. Is something bad happening? Or is he in trouble? She looked around and finally spot where he was, sitting beside a lady. "Rukawa! I finally found you! We need your help!!"  
  
"Wha…? Calm down, Sempai…"  
  
"Excuse me, Miss, but I gotta borrow Rukawa for now. Would you mind?" She bowed down towards Mifuyu, who's sitting beside Rukawa. She tried to control her voice. Mifuyu only nodded. She would like explanations later on, though. "Rukawa! Come with me! Hurry!"  
  
"What's all with the rush?!" Rukawa protested, muttering to himself.  
  
"I need your help! You're the one who's capable of doing this…"  
  
"Doing what?"  
  
Ayako quickly grabbed Rukawa's hand and pulled him from the rusty bench. "Sakuragi! He collapsed! We don't know why!" Mifuy gasped. She covered her mouth with her hands. She knew this was a sign for both trouble and danger. And with that Rukawa quickly rushed inside to help the team carry him towards the school clinic.  
  
  
  
a.n : waaaaaaa… review! 


	5. overwhelmed by worries and ....pain?

Sakuragi felt something soft beneath his cheek as he regained his conciousness. The air feels different, it felt more fresh, clean and light. This place can't be the gymnasium, Sakuragi Hanamichi could already feel it even without opening his eyes. Then, where on earth could he be and why is he there?  
  
"Oi... Are you awake yet?" It was a familiar voice whom he heard regularly each day. Still in his mind he can't figure it out who the person might be.  
  
Seeing that Sakuragi was struggling to get up and open his drowsy lids, Rukawa, who had been there waiting for him all along, get off his chair and approached him to see whether everything is alright. "Oi... Daijoubu ka?"  
  
When his eyes were fully opened, Sakuragi almost jumped back in surprise. ".... R-rukawa Kaede?!"  
  
"...Why so surprised, Aho?"  
  
"What brings you here?! What's this place anyway?!?!" He pulled back a few inches back.  
  
" This is the health center, Do'aho... What brings me here? You, idiot. You fainted in the middle of the practice. Ayako-sempai and Miyagi-captain are furious about you," Rukawa took a pause to inhale his breath. He then lifted his hands and rested it upon Sakuragi's forehead. "Do you got fever?" And then he compares it to his own temperature. "No you don't."  
  
"Snap it out!" Automatically his hands flew in the air and smacked Rukawa's masculine hands off his head. "I don't want you touching my face…"  
  
Rukawa paid no attention to his grunts and then turned his back upon him and walked towards the exit of the room. On the other hand, the red-head sophomore was startled. Rukawa acts strange today. At first he dared to touch Sakuragi's forehead and acts as if he hadn't have quarrels with each other. Secondly he hadn't been retorting back his scorns. What's up in his head?  
  
"Matte yo, Kitsune Otoko… Where are you going?"  
  
"Outside."  
  
And with that answer Sakuragi Hanamichi remained silent inside, waiting patiently for Rukawa to come back.  
  
Meanwhile, Rukawa left the room. Outside, Sakuragi's mom, Mifuyu, had been waiting still and listening to their conversation inside. Now Rukawa's worries over Hanamichi had grown more than before. He is deeply concerned about that redhead now, and his feelings of hatred and sentiment had deceased and fade away from his mind.  
  
"Aa… Rukawa-kun, is Hanamichi alright?" She asked with trembling voice, her intonations filled with qualms.  
  
Rukawa Kaede leaned his back against the wall and then placed his hands inside his pocket and shrugged. "That Aho, he sounds healthy and okay…"  
  
She immediately sighed in relief, letting go of her fears and anxiety inside. She then clasped her tiny palms and clamped before her chest. "I'm glad he is… I know Hanamichi is a strong boy…"  
  
"Demo you can't keep on hiding from him like that… He'll suffer more sooner or later…" Rukawa quickly added. He is right about one thing. Sakuragi Hanamichi, he's suffering of a serious health problem. She can't just possibly leave him behind and kept watching him from a distance without telling him. Sooner or later he'll die, even though his body is made of steel.  
  
"I can't…"  
  
There were silence between the two of them. Finally Rukawa broke the stillness. "That Do'aho is dying to see his mother, don't you know?" He explained simply with an expressionless face and dull voice.  
  
She lifted her head in surprise and looked at him with round honey eyes. "Sou ka…? Then if I meet him he wouldn't be mad at me?"  
  
He didn't have an answer to that, though. It's all depending on Sakuragi's thought which he can't read. "Think about it…" Rukawa turned his back against her and walked on. 'Well, at least I do… Even though she had beaten me up a few times I still wanted to see her so bad…'  
  
Mifuyu smiled as she watched the tall lad re-enter the ward. "Arigatou, Rukawa-kun…" She whispered to herself quietly.  
  
When he stepped back into the ward, Sakuragi's still sitting up straight, waiting for him to return. At last he came and Sakuragi parted his lips to speak. "Oi, Kitsune! Where have you been?"  
  
"Outside… I'm sick of the air inside, it feels so damp, especially when there's you."  
  
"TEME, Rukawa!!!!!"  
  
"Let's go back, Ayako-sempai and Miyagi-captain are waiting, I suppose…"  
  
Sakuragi tossed the white plain blanket to his feet and jumped off the bed. He grabbed his pair of red and black Jordan shoes and put it back on to his socks-covered feet. "Fine with me…" He bent down to tie his shoelace before he exits the room with his competitor. "Wait up, will ya!"  
  
"Don't keep me waiting," Rukawa crossed his arms, "I have too much valuable things better to do than hangin' around with you, Do'aho…"  
  
***  
  
"Sakuragi Hanamichi! Are you feeling alright?" Ayako closen up the distance between them and placed her feminine hand upon his head. She had to stand on the tips of her toe, though, because she had this huge gap of height. "Did you get a fever? Oh no, you don't…"  
  
"Maa… Glad you're back, Hanamichi. Are you sure you're alright?" Miyagi reassured him.  
  
Sakuragi Hanamichi bursted out into his maniac laughter. "Of course!!! I'm a tensai and a tensai's not that weak! Come on, let's run another hundred miles and I will survive!" He confirmed the captain with full confidence in his voice.  
  
"Well, if you feel anything fishy, just tell me. Quit pushing yourself too hard, alright, Hanamichi?"  
  
"Roger that, Ryochin!" He grinned wide and scratched his head.  
  
"Well, Sakuragi Hanamichi… You better thank Rukawa. He has to do all the hard work to carry you from here to the health center!" Ayako hit his back and chuckled lightly. Rukawa was still outside the gym door, looking around. He's searching for Mifuyu, perhaps. She was nowhere in sight, though. She had left, perhaps.  
  
"That Kitsune! Hmph! No need! I bet he's dragging me all the way from here to that clinic! No wonder my precious shirt is filled with dirt!" He retorded loudly on purpose, wanting Rukawa to hear him.  
  
"That's not true, Sakuragi… He carried you in his arms all the way."  
  
"Are…?"  
  
"That's right, Do'aho, and you're heavy too… Be sure to be grateful to me…" Rukawa was now around them, joining the conversation. "And you're stinky… Get yourself a body spray or something, will ya?!"  
  
"Teme, Rukawa!!!!! I'll beat you up for sure!!"  
  
"Try me…" Insulted Rukawa calmly.  
  
"Maa maa…" Haruko cut in between the two. "Sakuragi-kun, let's leave fights behind for now, alright. Now let's just focus ond three-point shooting, okay Sakuragi-kun? I'll help you!" She offered enthusiastically.  
  
"Haruko-san!" Sakuragi felt happy, he felt that he was flowing in the air with pink hearts surrounding him. She's so nice, she haven't met someone who's calmer and more beautiful than her. She's like an angel to him, an angel in disguise.  
  
***  
  
Miyagi stopped dribbling as he looked at the wall clock. The watch's telling him that it's half pass 6 pm in the evening and it's time for everybody to go home. The sky's getting darker, so it means that he should be walking Ayako home even though their house are on different ways. "Alright minna, I think we had enough. Good job everybody, you're dismissed for now."  
  
They all chanted in relief. Rukawa and Sakuragi walked into the washing room. "Quit following me, Kitsune!!"  
  
"Chi… Who's following an idiot like you, Do'aho?" He sneered coldly as he took off his favorite violet Nike shirt. With full efforts, he squeezed out his sweat off his shirt.  
  
"I'm leaving… I had enough of your sickening face." He slid his hands inside his shorts and then took a few steps forward to leave the washing room and Rukawa. But when his feet just about to hit the surface of the gymnasium, he felt piercing pain in his muscle and his heart. "Na…nanda… kore?!" His lips winced and twisted in pain.  
  
Rukawa turned his head and noticed that Sakuragi's in aching. "Oi, Do'aho, Daijoubu ka?" He asked in no interest. Sakuragi can't reply. His pain had overwhelmed himself and he can barely make a sound or move a bit. He at least tried to remain standing, though, but his muscle won't hold on any longer. Soon after that Hanamichi collapsed to the floor. "Sakuragi!!"  
  
"Itt..ai…" His voice was barely audible. Rukawa knelt beside him and quickly wiped the cold sweats from his face with his bare hands. "Kit…sune… Itai…"  
  
"Hang on…!" Rukawa scrammed into the gymnasium. Nobody was there. It was vacant. It'll be too risky to leave Hanamichi like that inside while he ran all the way to the locker room. So he chose to return into the washing room and accompany Sakuragi. "Can you move?"  
  
Sakuragi tried to move his hands. "I… I don't think… so…"  
  
In panic, Rukawa's voice were risen to the top of his pitch. "If I leave you for a while to find Captain, will you be alright?!"  
  
"I… don't know…"  
  
He looked around again, hoping for someone, anybody, to enter the gym so that he could ask for help. There was nobody though, and there was only quiet and stillness between the two. "…What's wrong with you?!" He asked demandingly.  
  
"I … don't know!!" He countered in a low, husky voice.  
  
"Come with me… I'll help you…" Rukawa helped Sakuragi and slid his arms around his neck. He helped him to stand up and carry him out of the gym. He was being extra careful, though, afraid that he would hurt Sakuragi more. Cautiously they exit the gym and walked into the entrance of Shohoku high, waiting for someone who'll pass their way. They waited for a quite a long time without finding anybody in sight, finally, Miyagi, the captain, was walking hand in hands in from the edge of their eyesight. "Captain! Ayako- sempai!"  
  
"Are…? Aren't those two Rukawa and Sakuragi?"  
  
"Honey, you must be tired. Hanamichi can't possibly be clingin' like that to Rukawa. If he did the world must be out of it's rotation axis—AAAAAck! I think it did!!" There was a sudden change in Miyagi's facial expression.  
  
"There must be something wrong!" Ayako let go of her lover's hand and rushed forward. She was worried about this thing, and she knew that it would happen sooner or later. Lately Sakuragi Hanamichi often wears himself out earlier than he used to be. It is as if his strength were decreasing rapidly.  
  
Miyagi stared at his hand with a tear flowing down his cheek. "Aya-chan…" and then he scurried to catch up with Ayako. "Rukawa! Is Hanamichi alright?!"  
  
"I believe not, Captain… He's… There's something wrong with him…" Rukawa tried to hide his dread by acting cool but yet his voice were still quivering.  
  
Ayako took off her jacket and placed it around Sakuragi's shoulder to keep him warm for a while. "We should take him to the doctor…"  
  
"It's a long way from here. We at least need a car or a taxi to get there."  
  
"Sempai, Captain," Rukawa started. Both pairs of their eyes turned towards Rukawa. "Help me to carry him to my house. From there we'll can call a doctor."  
  
"But… But your house? Won't it be too far?" Miyagi questioned him as his heart were running in the speed of light.  
  
"Iya, Captain… It's just 3 blocks away from here," explained Rukawa simply, "Ayako-sempai can use my bike and Captain could help me with him."  
  
"Roger that."  
  
"Let's just go as soon as possible. Wait up, I'll lock the gymnasium first."  
  
"What about Sakuragi's belongings?"  
  
"We can fetch it later. His life is way more important than that."  
  
  
  
a.n : guess who said the last sentence? Yeaaa rukawa! He's unexpectedly being so caring about hanamichi aren't he? Hehehe… Reviewz are accepted!  
  
Thankz, L.I.D, Yuuki, F5C, E.C, celestial_sakura, Liez, Kanon*Altrui, and Kogure-sempai! Without y'all without yer supports I won't be able to make it this far ^__^ 


	6. i'll never leave you...

They finally made their way towards Rukawa's house. Sakuragi was still unawake and his arms were clinging to both Rukawa and Miyagi. Ayako was busy paddling and costumizing herself on Rukawa's tall saddle bike. "Are we close to the destination now?" Ayako finally splitted the tranquillity that milieus around them.  
  
"Quite, Sempai. We should be in reach in about 3 more minutes." Rukawa explained calmly. Deep inside he was rushing to attain at his house though. His mind was far too fretful about Sakuragi.  
  
Miyagi heaved deep cold air to strengthen his back. Sakuragi was heavy for a guy in his height. In spite of that, he has to balance his own stature with Rukawa so that it will reduce the force that he has to abide. "So, Rukawa-kun… Is that why you pick Shohoku? It's close enough to your house?," inquired Miyagi with a composed tone. Rukawa only acquiesced as he nodded his head smoothly.  
  
Before long after that, the minute house on the edge of the road were in sight. All of the exterior walls were painted in pastel cream. It wasn't as big as what people call luxurious, but it's style were quite unique and creative. Ayako elated when she studied the corners of the home. It was such an appealing construction. "This is your house, Rukawa-kun? So cute~~!" Rukawa merely shrugged his shoulder.  
  
"Onegai, Captain. Please help me with him," Rukawa moved Sakuragi's arms away from his nape and handed it to the shorter one. "I wanna unlock the gates first."  
  
"Sure sure." With no further hesitations, Miyagi accepted to put up with Sakuragi's weight on his own back. Thank goodness Ayako came rushing off Rukawa's bike to help his lover. "Living alone, Rukawa?"  
  
"Sort of…" Rukawa replied mellifluously as his hands worked on the chains around the firm brass entrance. As he undo the lock, he pushed the gates in, giving a lot of screeching noise. He then returned towards the Shohoku captain and helped him to bring Sakuragi into the house. As they entered the living room, Rukawa carefully laid his head upon a broad couch. "Gomen ne… It's kinda messy." Rukawa scratched his head.  
  
Ayako's eyes were wide in amusement. Somehow the style of the decorations and the furnitures grabbed her interests. "It's definitely unique! I really fancied your house!" She claimed alout in excitement.  
  
"Honey, no time for fascinating. Go fetch some tap waters and something. Rukawa-kun," Miyagi turned to the raven-haired lad who's standing in the middle of the carpeted living room, "Call the doctor immediately."  
  
"Alright." Rukawa ambled over to the telephone and then dialled the doctor's number. For a while Miyagi let him have the conversation between him and the medic and assists Ayako to clean Sakuragi's face with soaked towel.  
  
Out of their expectations, Sakuragi regained his consciousness and opened his eyelids leisurely. He looked around and saw that the setting was different. The last time he remembered was that he fell down in the gymnasium's washing room and yet he's laying down on a snug sofa inside a room which the walls had been painted in deep salmon. "Where am I?" The faces of both Ayako and Miyagi were still blurry towards him.  
  
"Hanamichi," Miyagi chanted in relieve. "Thank goodness. We were so worried about you. How are you feeling now?" Sakuragi couldn't manage to reply. His eyes were still heavy and his head were still aching. "I think we still need the doctor, Rukawa-kun. Go continue make the call."  
  
"Don't…" Sakuragi's voice were so soft and it was bristly. Miyagi leaned closer to hear what he was saying. "Don't call… the doctor…"  
  
"What are you talking about, Sakuragi Hanamichi?" Ayako asked him alound, speaking on the top of her lungs. "You're current physical condition is low now and you barely could stand up! At least we need a doctor to go check on you to see whether you are okay."  
  
Still Sakuragi take no notice on her. "Rukawa," he begin as his eyes started to close down bit by bit, "if you can hear me… don't call… the doctor." And finally his eyes were completely closed. For the last time before he drifted away into the deep sleep, Sakuragi verbalized faintly, "…all I need is… a peaceful… sleep." Then soon after that he dozed off into the dreamland.  
  
"As you wish." Rukawa hang up the call and placed the phone down. Both pairs of Ayako and Miyagi's eyes turned abruptly upon him.  
  
"Rukawa… you can't… You know he needs a treatment!"  
  
"Let's just wait till tomorrow… It'll be useless anyway. That Do'aho won't wake up even if we threw a rock on his head. Let's just wait until tomorrow."  
  
Ayako shrugged. Miyagi heaved deep air. "Well then if you suppose so, I'll just come back on tomorrow, Saturday, morning." The captain fixed his bag on his left shoulder and rose off his seat. Ayako only followed him  
  
"Ano, Rukawa-kun… I gotta go too.. I got chores to do. I'll see you tomorrow. I'll come with him perhaps," She moved her hands and held onto Miyagi's shirt, "Ja na…"  
  
"Take care of him, Rukawa… Bye." They left out in just a flick of time, leaving Rukawa and Sakuragi alone.  
  
"Now what should I do with this idiot?"  
  
Seeing that his shirt was still drenched with sweat from the afternoon practice, Rukawa realized that he must dress him into a proper sleeping outfit such as pyjama or a clean t-shirt. "Yare yare… Here goes." So Rukawa bent down and then shook his shoulder. "Oi, wake up."  
  
"Uhh…" Sakuragi groaned as he was still half-awake. He avoid to open his eyes. He chose to keep resting his cheek against the surface of the couch.  
  
"Come on, don't sleep here, Do'aho. Besides your oblong is wet. Go get changed." Sakuragi ignored him. Instead he rolled onto the other side, facing the backrest of the sofa, turning his back onto Rukawa. "Do'aho."  
  
"…I can't… walk." He finally announced.  
  
"I'll help you up."  
  
"No you wont. You'll throw me down…"  
  
Rukawa sighed. "Come on, I'm not gonna play this time. It's serious. Hora. Get up. I'll help you."  
  
"…u sure?"  
  
Rukawa breathed another profound cold air from the room as he rested his hands on his waist. "I promise…"  
  
"Alright…" Sakuragi turned slightly to the corner and threw his feet onto the floor. Rukawa knelt down beside him and put Sakuragi's arm around his neck and lifted him up. "where are we going…? Kitsune?"  
  
"To my room. You can sleep on the bed there. It's comfier than the couch… And you gotta change your damp clothes."  
  
"…kitsune's bed? Heheheh…" The self-claimed genius chuckled as he choked.  
  
"What? You want to sleep on the asphalt?"  
  
"…no."  
  
"Very well then shut up."  
  
***  
  
Sakuragi was changed, Rukawa helped him thoroughly. Now he is dressed in Rukawa's favorite green pastel pyjama. He was completely strengthless. Everywhere he goes, Rukawa must help him to stand up or else he'll just limp down on the floor. Finally he was resting on Rukawa's bed. The peaceful moonlight were shining down on his face, giving shades of blue. He looked so tranquil. Rukawa was sitting down on a chair, his head were staring utterly at Sakuragi. There was nothing but Sakuragi's gentle snores between the silent air. "…Kitsune?" The silence was at last parceled.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I can't sleep…" Announced Sakuragi quietly.  
  
"Hm? Then what?"  
  
"Sing… Sing so that I can sleep…"  
  
Rukawa sneered as he looked away. "Hell no. I got terrible voice."  
  
Not opening his eyes, Sakuragi put on a mischievous smile on his lips. "At least… it's better than this dead silence…"  
  
"…Uh… I'm not responsible if there's a broken glass caused by my horrid voice." Rukawa tried to find excuse to prevent him from singing. He could do almost anything but singing.  
  
"I'm not too… This is your house," retorded Sakuragi as he lay still on the bed. Rukawa still insisted that he don't want to sing to him. It's stupid. Besides it feels strange. That's the kind of things couples do when they're out on a date. He's not, they're not! Why on earth such he do such things? "I wish Kaasan's here to sing me lullaby…"  
  
"Cut it out, you're a grown man…" Rukawa snapped back.  
  
"Still… I missed her…"  
  
"…"  
  
"Kaasan…"  
  
"I missed my mother too, Sakuragi…"  
  
"…Kaasan." A tear rolled down his pale cheek.  
  
Rukawa then heave a sigh and pulls his chair closer. Guess like this guy's not gonna give up anything unless somebody claims their lost. He decided that he'll sing, since it'll make him quiet. In his mind, Rukawa gathered up the songs that he could possibly know. After he chose one, Rukawa bent his back, closing the distance between them. It was close enough, Rukawa was now on top of Sakuragi's earlobes, tickling him with his breath.  
  
"Put away your tears and your sleepy eyes  
  
Put away that bullshit, big boys they don't cry to their mommas  
  
... she'll be back soon…"  
  
Sakuragi smiled heartily when he heard Rukawa's hoarse tone on top of his ears. He sounds so deep.  
  
"And she says… maybe it's over…  
  
And he says… there's plenty more fish in the sea…  
  
But I say… Don't go away from me…"  
  
Rukawa stopped when he saw that Sakuragi was drowned into his own sleep. He was glad he didn't have to sing anymore. With his index finger, Rukawa smudged the trace of teardrops from his pale face softly, trying not to wake him up. Hard to realize, Sakuragi Hanamichi who's now laying in front of him is just simply dying.  
  
"I say…  
  
Don't go away,  
  
Don't go away from me…"  
  
Then Rukawa rested his chin onto the vacant place on the bed, straight beside Sakuragi's hands. He felt sleepy, he wanted to sleep too.  
  
"Please don't go away from me…  
  
But can you take it too hard,  
  
I'll never leave you…"  
  
Right after he finished the last sentence of the verse in the song, he closed his eyes and joined Sakuragi into his deep sleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
a.n : heheh… just plainly sweet. ^__^ the song? Oh it's five for figthing's love song. Yeah, the title is love song. I got it when I was browsing for the lyrics 'superman' and then it caught my eyes. Seemed that it fits in place with the story, huh? Well, kinda…  
  
anyways… reviews! ^__^ 


	7. hide and seek

The two Shohoku sophomores fell asleep on the bed inside the cold bedroom. Rukawa opened his eyes slightly as he felt the warm sun shining upon his bangs. Meanwhile, the redheaded self-claimed genius were still fast asleep. Rukawa stood up as he rubbed his eyes and stretched as he yawned. "Ohayo…" There was no response, of course. Sakuragi was still in deep sleep. Rukawa find it funny looking at him while sleeping. Not only his face were looking so innocent and pure while the eyes are closed, his figure, his positios, it looked funny since the blanket was tossed all over the face. It no longer covers him. It was half thrown down to the floor. "Do'aho…" Promptly he bent down to fix the bed quilt and tucked it onto his chin.  
  
His back were currently aching right now. He wasn't sleeping thoroughly on the bed, remember. He was just leaning his chin upon a vacant space beside Sakuragi's hand. It doesn't matter, though, today's Saturday and he got no school. He can do whatever he wanted today without having to worry about being tardy.  
  
The phone suddenly rang. Strange. That phone hasn't rang for quite a while since his parents were gone. Who could it be? Without longer babbling in his head, Rukawa rushed to the phone stand and answered the call. "Moshi- moshi, Rukawa residence…." His tone were still deep, merged with his sleepiness. For a while there wasn't any reply given on the other side. Perhaps this was just another prank call by some idiot, he thought, so he pushed the phone away from his cheeks. When he was about to place it back to its origin, a voice called out.  
  
"Wait!" It sure was a lady, of course. "Wait," she called out twice.  
  
"…Yeah?" Rukawa gave a hint of counter.  
  
"Is this…" She paused for a while. To think, perhaps, or to gather up words to express the topic. "Is this Rukawa Kaede?"  
  
Wait. Her voice sounds familiar. Rukawa thought he had heard it somewhere once but he couldn't remember. "Yes."  
  
"Kaede-san! It's me… Sakuragi no Ka-san desu." She explained with a vacillating tone. "Sorry if I woke you up or bother you… I just…"  
  
"What?" Impatiently he spitted out a harsh inquiry, cutting her weak sentence of apology and ensure.  
  
"I just wanna know… Is Hanamichi alright?" She asked with a doubtful accent.  
  
Huh. He knew that she'll ask about her son. This lady right here sometimes pisses him off. It wasn't about being irritated by her concerns, is just that sometimes she's too blunt. This is what people call the game of hide and seek. She cared about Sakuragi but she was afraid to meet him in person and be who she really is; his mother. "…No."  
  
Mifuyu sounded hit by his retort. He can tell by the way her voice started to quiver when she begin to talk. "…Ah… I… Can I know… why?"  
  
"Listen here," Rukawa said in a firm character, "If you really wanna know, I suggest not on the phone. It feels lame. You say a place and we'll meet there immediately."  
  
Mrs. Sakuragi halted briefly. It's okay, Rukawa can give her time to think about it. He's patient enough this morning. "Ummm…," she finally spoke up. "At the harbor? I think it's near enough from Shohoku."  
  
"That settles it."  
  
***  
  
Right now Rukawa was standing on a dock. The sea was still tinted in gold. The sun hasn't totally rised into the midst of the crystal sky yet. However, Mifuyu wasn't there, though. Suddenly a Jaguar S-type slid in to the vacuous road behind the pier. Mifuyu, dressed in a suede suit and a dark trouser came out from the hind passenger seat. "Gomen! I'm sorry for the lateness," she hollered out and started running towards Rukawa.  
  
"You're rich now?" Sneered the raven-haired youngster with a sarcastic tone. Mifuyu wheezed for air after jogging.  
  
"No… That's not mine…"  
  
"Then who's?" He threw his face and stared at the horizon line that extends far from the edge of his sight. He saw ships approaching to the harbor. They were back from routine fishing, maybe.  
  
"My fiance's."  
  
Fiance? Rukawa grimaced at the word. "Did your fiance knows that you already have a son?"  
  
"I suppose yes… I've told him once. I don't want to lie anymore."  
  
"But you're living in a lie…"  
  
Mifuyu stood still as her eyes widened. She lowered down her head and chuckled to herself as she augmented the distance between them. "I infer so…" Her voice were trembling.  
  
That wasn't necessary. He shouldn't have spattered out cruel things like that. "Suman…," he said softly as he came near to her and rested his hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Daijoubu yo," Sakuragi Mifuyu pulled her tears back, avoiding it to drop down her pale cheeks. "You were right about that, Kaede-kun…"  
  
The Shohoku ace heaved a deep sigh and then placed his hands inside his pants' pockets. He looked up to the sky and studied the pigeons who flew high in the air, soaring across the sun. "Sakuragi… He… He collapsed again last night, right after you left." With this he tried to change the topic to soothe the uneasiness. He felt bad after meantioning those rude words to her, especially when she's about 15 years older than him.  
  
"Hanamichi…?"  
  
"Yeah… I don't know. He was staying in my house since last night, we brought him there. And then… he could barely move, yet he didn't want to see a doctor."  
  
"Hanamichi…" Mifuyu bit her lower lip. Her eyes were pinned down to the tarnished rough-cutted woods that were bearing them up, keeping them from touching the salty sea water. Rukawa looked at her and arched his brows.  
  
"You… want to see him?" He questioned her. Rukawa had known the answer, though.  
  
"I… Yes…" Mifuyu then shut her eyes tightly and tightened her fists. "I guess I have to put an end to this spy game, huh?"  
  
"Not now," Rukawa quickly snapped back and flashed a sharp look on his face. "Not now… Not when he's not feeling well. You will have to talk to him about it later. Not now…"  
  
"…And then how will I be able to see him?"  
  
"I can disguise you to be a doctor…"  
  
***  
  
Rukawa went back home inside Mifuyu's car. She had offered him a ride home. Mifuyu's on a camouflage right now in order to greet Sakuragi who she had long not seen. This all could be done because of Rukawa's help, though. He understood her feelings. Therefore he's willing to aid.  
  
The Jaguar finally reached the house's yard. Soon after that he opened the door and stepped his shoes out from the vehicle and walked into the entrance. Strangely, it was unlock, not like the way Rukawa left it when he parted to meet Mifuyu. How weird, who could be inside? Is Sakuragi awake? Could he walk right now? Eagerly Rukawa slammed the entry open and rushed in. "Sakuragi! Sakuragi!!" There was no response, though. Pictures of horrific scenes flashed through his mind. "Sakuragi!!!" He tried to call out for his name the last time and hoped to find a signal.  
  
"AAAAAAaargh!!!!!!" There it was, Sakuragi's discerned shrieks. Rukawa's eyes snapped broad and he quickly ran upstairs, following the direction of the sound. He could be in danger, he could be troubled. His heart started beating faster in anxiety. Beyond this door that lays before him, a murder could be happening. Sakuragi's murder? No. Rukawa shook the horrid thoughts of his mind and twisted the doorknob. He opened the door violently and emerged inside the bedroom. "Sakuragi!!!!!"  
  
"Oh it's you…" There was no harm at all. Inside were only Miyagi and Ayako, sitting on top of the floor rug. Meanwhile, Sakuragi were laying face-flat on the floor. "Okaeri, Rukawa!" Ayako glinted a warm smile on her adorable face.  
  
"…Sempai?" Rukawa said out between his hard breaths. "Captain?"  
  
"Kitsune!!!" Sakuragi threw himself onto his butt and sat up straight. He was only wearing his boxer. "Kitsune!! Thank God you came!!! These two are trying to murder me!!" He yelped aloud. Ayako and Miyagi are only laughing lightly.  
  
"Stop it, Hanamichi," Miyagi began, "I'm just tryin' to offer you some teraphies. It doesn't hurt at all! All I got to give to you is an… umm… alligator liver lotion onto your knees, umm… rat brain powder… and…"  
  
"AAAAAAARGH!!!! Those are Freddy Krueger's killing utensils!!! And besides it's gross!!!!! Take that away from me! I could just die by smelling those atrocious odors!! Eww! Disgusting!!! Blehk!!"  
  
"Don't be so mean, Sakuragi Hanamichi." Ayako crumpled her fist as her other hand were stroking her curls. "Me and Ryota went to the China Town last night just for you. And it costs a lot of money, too… You wouldn't be able to resist our good intentions, would you? Not if you're a good boy, Sakuragi." Ayako snatched the lotion's bottle and on her knees, she loomed to Sakuragi slowly.  
  
"No!!!!!!!! Don't come near me, Ayako-san!! I'm gonna jump off the window if you did!!! No!!!!! Not any closer than 1 metres! NO!! NO!! RUKAWA SAVE MEEEEE!!!" Sakuragi hollered out loud as if his life was being threatened.  
  
"Do'aho… I was calling for you and you gave no reply. I was so worried when I heard your shouts so I ran upstairs. I almost tripped over the flight of steps because of rushing." Rukawa stood still beneath the door frame, puzzled by the bizarre inside his bedroom. There's going to be unpleasant smells right there. Man, Ayako and Ryota sounds like Addam's Family for now. And where on earth could they get some ghastly things like those that they brought today?  
  
"Teme!! I didn't know it was you!! Besides I couldn't call for help because they stuffed toilet paper into my mouth!!!!!" Sakuragi was cornered right now. Ayako was already in front of him, ready to pour the nasty 'alligator liver lotion' onto her hand and spread it onto Sakuragi's skin. "Rukawa heeeeeeeeelp!!!!!!"  
  
"Ehm…" Mifuyu, who was watching them all along, cleared her throat. Ayako stopped and then stared at her. Even Miyagi and Sakuragi. "Sumimasen… I didn't mean to interrupt… I'm just…"  
  
"She's a doctor," Rukawa stated clearly, making an easier way out for her. "And she's here to check on you, Sakuragi. She haven't got much time, therefore… Make it quick if you can."  
  
"Teme! Who told you to call a doctor?!"  
  
"…Oh well perhaps you could go with Ayako-sempai's treatment with those China Town stuff then."  
  
"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Doctor-san! Please please! Hahaha! Please!!" Sakuragi grinned sheepishly.  
  
How easing it was to find that he was still alive and full of energy. Mifuyu sighed in relief as she approached him who's fixing himself on the bed. "Minna," Rukawa broke the silence. His eyes rolled around, looking at every faces inside the room. "Would you like some drinks?"  
  
"Sure do," Ayako called out in glee. "I would like… umm… What do you got, Rukawa?"  
  
"I don't know… what do you want, Ayako-sempai?"  
  
"Uh… Got some vanillas?"  
  
"…I think. Hot or cold?"  
  
"Warm, not hot!"  
  
"Same with me here," added Miyagi.  
  
Mifuyu smiled and then tossed her long tresses to her back. "I'll have the same too, Kaede-kun…"  
  
"I want chocolate with marshmellows, Rukawa!!!!!" Still laying on the bed with his boxers only, Sakuragi called aloud for his request. Rukawa shrugged and headed to the kitchen.  
  
Back inside the room, the two couple were watching Mifuyu working on checking up Sakuragi, their teammate. Ayako's eyes sharpened as she examined her, though. Something were looking suspicious. The manager then yanked her lover's shirt and leaned to whisper in his ears.  
  
"Sou yo… You're right about that, honey… Something is… quite awkward here…" Miyagi agreed.  
  
  
  
a.n :: wow… alligator liver lotion? Is there such things? I don't know… Sorry about the lateness of the update. I got to work on the end of year projects and still I got to prepare on my grade's farewell party. Uh huh. Oh yeah BTW I've updated my web. The pictures section are available right now! Please visit, www.geocities.com/kepopochi/ . If you don't mind checkin' out, please remember to sign the guestbook too.  
  
Neways, the pc in my room were operating back to normal. And my pc downstairs used for internet are virus-free right now!! Yeah! That means there'll be more updates to my fics and my site!! I'll try to keep the flow goin'. I'll increase the pace if you support me more, though. Hey I was listening to Ashanti's Unfoolish while typing the chap. It's aweseome~!! Aaa… Mou, Popochi! There's no time to talk about songs right now~! Suman nee, minna~… hehehe. You know I'm a die-hard fan for music :P ummmm… yeah. Neways, don't ever forget to review this chap, alright?? :)  
  
Oh yeah… special reply to mayumi-chan :: I know about the term 'Leukimia', mayu-chan~! Daijoubu, I was planning to use it while Sakuragi were visiting the doctor. You said there were confusion about POV? I recognized that. I'm sorry~~~!! I was working on this fic little-by-little. Therefore I kinda lost the actual idea about the current POV that's goin' on… I'm sorry~! I'll try to work on it on the future chapters. Sorry about it thoroughly, to other readers too. My English is not perfect, I'm not a native speaker. Besides I'm just a junior-high who's learning aspects of English language. ^__^ I hope u take the words.  
  
Neways, if there are any other comments u wanna say to me, please feel free to leave a msg on the review section. I don't tolerate harsh flames, though… Try to express it nicely and I'll work on it. 


	8. beneath the moonlight

"Sou yo… You're right about that, honey… Something is… quite awkward here…" Miyagi agreed.  
  
The couple then kept their eyes open, examining every fact available. Meanwhile Rukawa was having a hard time bringing all 4 cups upstairs without tray. He kept stumbling over the stairs and spilling a few to the floor and to his shirt. When he finally made the last step he paused and heaved for deep air of relief. "Phew…." He then enter the room and handed each one of them their drinks.  
  
"Arigato, Rukawa…" Miyagi thanked him before tasting the cup filled with heavy scent of vanilla. "It's nice…"  
  
Ayako placed hers on the floor and stood up. She quickly grabbed Rukawa's arm and pulled him outside. "Rukawa," she irrevocably said with a firm voice while her hands were pinning Rukawa's masculine shoulders onto the wall beside Rukawa's bedroom. "Who is that doctor?"  
  
Rukawa paused a while to think for the answer. Surely he couldn't mention that she was Sakuragi's mother. Not only that he didn't want anybody to know about it for now, he will surely know that Ayako will demand for a long, punctilious explanation. He won't have the heart to gather all the words to make clear things. "She's my doctor. My uncle's close acquaintance…"  
  
Seems like Ayako was not easily fooled. Her eyes, it glared at him sharper. "…Are you sure…?" This time her voice was softer, though.  
  
"Yes, Sempai…" Rukawa cleared out his answer. Both then stood silently. Ayako's hands were no longer rested on Rukawa's shoulders. "Why?"  
  
"If she is a doctor, then why didn't she brought her medical things such as stethoscopes or any medicines, anything. She doesn't look like she's equipped." She was right. After all this is an express disguise. There's no such time to prepare camouflage utensils for her. Ayako's mind are sharp.  
  
"…She doesn't need them. She's the kind of doctor who doesn't use stethoscopes, I must say…" After he mentioned the sentence, Rukawa begin to ask to himself in his head. Does his answer sounds awkward? Could Ayako be fooled? Or has he made a fool out of himself? His heart begins to beat faster in uneasiness.  
  
Ayako veered her neck and studied Mifuyu for the final time and then back at Rukawa's eyes. Rukawa dared not to blink. She then closed her eyes and shrugged. "Maa… Gomen nasai, Rukawa… I'm too suspicious about everything." Ayako laughed to herself as she patted Rukawa's shoulder.  
  
"Daijoubu yo, Sempai…" He sighed in reprieve as his muscle loosens. "It's alright to be keen about things," he lied.  
  
"Heheheh… Okay… Now I'm easy about things, I'll just take a taste on your vanilla!" She rushed into the room and instantly sit on Miyagi's side as she grabbed her mug. Deep inside Rukawa knew that Ayako's worries hadn't cease down. She must still be thinking about it for now, perhaps.  
  
"Ano, Rukawa-kun…" Mifuyu weakly said as she approached him. She signaled him to go outside, so that their conversation won't be heard by anyone especially Ayako. Rukawa obeyed her and walked outside. "…The disease… it seems not to be quite harmful right now… Demo, I think it's growing fast." Rukawa almost choke when he heard the statement. Questions began to ran across his head. He wanted to spit it out, yet he was eager to heard for other explanations. "I'm no doctor but I have been learning things about cancer."  
  
"So what will I do now? What should I do with him?"  
  
Mifuyu looked up and heaved a breath. She then veered her head and glanced aside her right. "I don't know, Rukawa-kun… Demo, I want him to stay with you so that you and I can monitor on him. He's living alone right now, and nobody will know what'll happen with him. Nobody knows… Therfore, Rukawa- kun… If you can… please please… beg him to go to a doctor to really check on things. If not things won't be so much complicated later on! Onegai, Rukawa-kun…?" She begged him with so much worries and sorrow on her face. How could any man could ever resist? Besides Rukawa was also concerned about Sakuragi as much as she do even though nobody knows.  
  
"Wakatta… I'll do my best… I don't know if I could make it, though…" Rukawa lowered his eyelids and then bit his lower lip.  
  
"Arigato… I must leave, now…" Before she walked down and head to her posh vehicle that's waiting for her outside Rukawa's yard, she walked back into the room and smiled at Sakuragi who's sitting on the bed. "Hanamichi… I want you to not to move too much for just this day. I want you to take a rest. Stay in Rukawa-kun's house, I prefer, so that he could easily contact me whenever anything occurred." In full confidence she said aloud. Meanwhile Ayako was quite bothered with something. She was thinking hard on her head. Unlike Miyagi who's busy finishing his served beverage. 'She called him Hanamichi…? Doushite? She even calls Rukawa who's closer to her 'Rukawa-kun'…'  
  
"Got that, Doctor-san!!!" He waved goodbye at her. Mifuyu chuckled to see his lively spirit and his endearing actions. She then waved back and leave.  
  
***  
  
It was 5 o' clock in the afternoon and the two, Rukawa and Sakuragi, were alone in the house. Miyagi and Ayako had left previously while the sun was still high up in the sky. Rukawa was watching the television downstairs meanwhile Sakuragi was still sleeping. He had been sleeping for a long time, though. It's already his time to wake up.  
  
It's boring. There's nothing good on television. All they got are just soap operas, newscasts and crappy love dramas. Rukawa's not into those kinds of thing for he himself is not too passionate about love itself. But when it comes to loving someone he loves, he sure will be more than 'passionate' too. Since there's nothing that can soothe his boredom, he walked upstairs and decided to take a shower. As he walked into the room, he found Sakuragi still sleeping on the bed peacefully. He wouldn't want to bother and wake him up for now. He'll just let him do whatever he want for now. Rukawa opened the closet and pulled out a pair of clothes and then entered the bathroom.  
  
Sakuragi heard noise around the room so he opened his eyes. The sound of Rukawa slamming door really wakes him up into reality. "Kusso… Ano Kitsune… He didn't have to shut the door so hard…" He kept muttering as he threw his feet onto the floor. Sakuragi looked around, there was nothing to do. So he opened the balcony door and sat down on a chair that was placed outside. The view was splendid, he could see the houses along Kanagawa. He could even see Shohoku and Kainan in sight.  
  
The sun was setting. Sakuragi nailed his eyes onto the pinkish round circle of light and watched it until it disappears into the horizon line. He had to admit that the sky was beautiful during sunset. It's such a lovely sight. He had admired it since he was just a child. Whenever the Shohoku sophomore was bored, he'd walk outside and just spent hours staring up the sky. For some people it was awkward and idiotic to do such things. For Sakuragi it isn't. It feels soothing and peaceful. With that he could just throw his thoughts onto the side. Sometimes he would fell fast asleep.  
  
Now the sun has disappeared completely and the moon roused from the other corner of the earth. As the sky turned into deeper shade of violet, the moon rised higher in the the blue. "Oi." Sakuragi turned his back and found Rukawa still drying his hair with his towel. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Nothing much… Watching the skies, maybe…" Sakuragi said calmly and his eyes then turned back to watch the stars. Rukawa walked closer to him and then took the seat beside him.  
  
"Go take shower," he simply instructed.  
  
Sakuragi shook his head without looking at him. "I like to take warm baths in the middle of the night. It's autumn right now, so what." The Shohoku ace shrugged and then slumped back in his chair. "Oi Kitsune… You like the moon?"  
  
"…What? The moon…?" He then grunted as he raised his chin to look up to the moon that Sakuragi had been watching for a while. "I don't know… I never think about such things…"  
  
"Really? Well you should… It's true when people said that the world and the universe is an art…"  
  
Rukawa doesn't sound interested in this nature thought. He was quite surprised to see Sakuragi so into this nature thingy, though. Who could of thought? As his friends say he is just a king of simplicity. "I don't quite care. It's just a round thing up in the sky at night."  
  
Sakuragi giggled. "You never care about anything except basketball, right?"  
  
"…that's not true… I care, but I just don't talk a lot about it…"  
  
"Sou ka…? I see… You don't talk much about anything. That's why nobody can tell what's going on in your head."  
  
"Maybe… Well I don't really want anybody to really interfere with my thoughts anyway. I want to solve things out by myself." Rukawa placed his towel down on his laps and rested the back on his head onto the wooden chair.  
  
Sakuragi turned his head and looked at him. His face is such peace when the moonlight is tinted upon it. "You shouldn't… Sometimes it's better to ask things out to make things better."  
  
"Yeah right and who will I be asking anyway?" He snorted as he placed bent his arms to swipe his wet bangs back.  
  
"Anybody. You can ask Ayako-san… Gori… Ryochin… Micchy… Well even though they're not in school anymore they often visit, don't they? Ask anybody… Haruko… Yasu…… me…"  
  
"You?" Rukawa sneered at him. "I thought you'll never listen… I thought you hated me…"  
  
The redhead only shook his head and smiled. "Nah… I was immature back then… I don't do much at the first year. I was just jealous of you because Haruko likes you. That's all… After all I'm over Haruko right now. It seems like the chances to be with her are thin. I don't know…"  
  
"……" Rukawa kept silent. He placed the things that Sakuragi had said about him deep in his mind and kept it safely. "… I never really detest you too… It's just I was confused at first why you were so… you know… And I was heated up by the things you did so I just fight it back."  
  
Sakuragi laughed aloud. He re-thinked back on the times when he was just learning basketball. How he envied Rukawa so much to be able to do such good moves. "You know… I learned fast because I was motivated by you…"  
  
Rukawa looked up in astonishment. "How come?"  
  
"I don't know… Whenever you do score or dunk or anything, Haruko went all crazy about you. I decided push myself harder to learn things fast. That's why I've been spending my time doing extra practices."  
  
Rukawa nodded in understanding. "…I know that. Whenever I wanted to go to the court to do some shootings or so, I always found you there," Rukawa then chuckled.  
  
"Uoooo!!! Kitsune! Kitsune is laughing!! I should record that and sell it for a thousand yen!!!"  
  
"Do'aho…"  
  
"Teme!!!!! Kitsune Otoko!"  
  
"Do'aho!"  
  
"Kitsune!"  
  
"Do'aho!!"  
  
And then they paused as they stared to each other. They then broke into laughters. "Ne, Rukawa… I never thought you were such a fun guy. I enjoyed it talking with you…" He slapped Rukawa's back softly for a few times.  
  
"Hmmm…" Rukawa finally managed to cease his laughter down. "I'm bored…"  
  
Sakuragi sighed. "Me too… Not really though. I still got a lot of things to examine things around such as… Does Rukawa Kaede has porn videos?!" He imitated the voice of entertainers in the television which helds trivia quizes.  
  
"Kusso! Teme, Do'aho!!"  
  
"Hahaha! That shows it!! You got some, don't you?!!?! A lot, maybe… Hahahaha!!!"  
  
Rukawa tossed his head aside, trying to hide his blushing cheeks. "It's a normal guys' thing… besides I won't let you wander around my house!"  
  
"Don't worry," Sakuragi grinned wickedly, "I don't need to… I already know the answer…" He then giggled like a witch.  
  
"Chikussoo!!!"  
  
"Hahahaha! So nice to see Rukawa blushing!!! Red Kitsune! Red Kitsune! Whoa… It's even redder than my hair!!"  
  
Rukawa stood up abruptly on his chair and then stomped back into his room. From afar, Sakuragi could see that his face are puffing out steams. "Listen," he said as he turned his back and pointed out his index at Sakuragi who's still laughing hard, "You're not going to stay inside this house tomorrow. I won't let you… We're gonna go out… Somewhere… Somewhere!! I don't know!"  
  
"Downtown? I wanna go check out on Star Wars' latest episode…"  
  
Rukawa huffed as he tried to cease his embarassment down. "Fine… Fine… Downtown… Tomorrow… Downtown…"  
  
"Hey, where are you going, Kitsune?!" He hollered aloud, trying to make up the distance.  
  
"Watch TV…."  
  
Sakuragi smirked. "Don't watch too much porns, alright?!"  
  
That's it. Rukawa threw his wet towel at him and rowdily rushed downstairs, blushing.  
  
  
  
a.n : ^__^;; ehehehe… 


	9. the truth, unvealed

Over the night they slept tight. For once more Rukawa let Sakuragi sleep on his bed while he spent the night on the sofa bed. Well, if it wasn't because of the leukemia maybe he would've forced the redhead to sleep on the carpet instead.  
  
The sleep wasn't comfortable for Rukawa. It was cold and he got no blankets. As soon as the morning light landed upon his face he gradually opened his heavy lids. He stretched and yawned as he breathed in the fresh morning air. Winter is getting near and now the cold air is throbbing his chest. However, it's Sunday morning. As planned before, he was going to go downtown to the streets of Kanagawa with Sakuragi.  
  
Rukawa walked into his room to find Sakuragi still sleeping like a baby. Geez, maybe t hat's why he is always tardy to school. "Aho," he kicked the bed gently with his bare feet. Sakuragi only mumbles a few words and then rolled to the side of the bed to continue his nap. Oh well... maybe he should just go down and cook some instant noodles. He didn't have dinner last night. The two of them were busy talking they forgot the time. "Hey Aho... what do you want for breakfast?" Once more he nudge the bed with his toes. No reply. "Well then you won't get any."  
  
Just when Rukawa turned his waist to walk away Sakuragi grabbed his sweaters. "French Toast," he mumbled the words. Rukawa paused for a moment and then continued walking. "Alright..."  
  
It feels good to have someone to talk to in the morning right after you wake up. All these times Rukawa never opened up his mouth to speak. He didn't have anybody to talk to except for himself. That's why he was never good in socializing with other people. Deep inside he wanted to have a lot of friends, but he isn't used to having good conversations and he didn't have the slightest idea of showing his feelings to others.  
  
Rukawa opened the cupboard and pulled out a cup instant noodle and a few loaves of bread. In the fridge there was only 2 eggs left. He was always running out of food. Well he never buys much food cause there's nobody to eat with. This time was the first time of his life that he had to cook breakfast for someone. Even though it has to be Sakuragi, he was quite happy to cook for him.  
  
When the thought comes back to Sakuragi, he shook his head. No way, there's absolutely no chance that the guy is dying. Maybe it's a made up game just to trick him for the next April fool's Day. Well... This time all he could do was just shake his head and threw the thoughts aside.  
  
"Oi is the breakfast ready?" Sakuragi asked aloud as he was walking down the stairway. He was dressed in Rukawa's blue sweaters and sweatpants.  
  
Rukawa was sitting on the dinner table all by himself. He was munching on his instant ramen. Beside him was a plate full of French toasts. "Yea... it was ready way back before you woke up, Aho..."  
  
To his surprise Sakuragi wasn't mad this time when Rukawa called him Aho. He just smiled sheepishly and sat down on the vacant chair before Rukawa. "Thanks," he said as he pulled the plate to his chest. As he took the first bite he whimpered. "I hate to say it, Kitsune, but your French toast is better than mine..."  
  
"D'uh..." Replied Rukawa between his slurps.  
  
"Hahah... such a shame..." He snickered. "Yours are better while these are all I can make every single day."  
  
"Go buy a recipe book, Aho." Rukawa had finished his ramen. He placed the wooden chopsticks on top of the bowl and then grabbed himself a glass of mineral water from the tap.  
  
Sakuragi paused to reply. His mouth was still filled with food. "Well... I did but I still cant..."  
  
Rukawa shrugged. "Tough luck." He gulped down the water down his throat. "Finish your food. I'll take shower. After that is your turn."  
  
"Hey Kitsune..."  
  
"What?" Rukawa looked back.  
  
"Can I borrow your clothes again?" A wide sheepish grin came across his face.  
  
Rukawa let out a sarcastic laugh. "D'uh? What else will you be wearing?"  
  
"Thanks."  
  
It was still quite young in the afternoon yet the streets were filled with pedestrians. The first objective was to catch a movie in the cinema but then it seemed like there was nothing good on the shows this week. So then they had no choice but to watch a crappy thriller horror movie just to kill the excess time. Right after the movie had finished both of them were starving again. So they immediately hit Danny's to grab a late lunch for two.  
  
Rukawa ordered a Fish n Chips while Sakuragi ate a grilled BBQ steak. Suddenly Rukawa's cellphone rang.  
  
"It's good to see him devouring his meal..."  
  
It turns out to be her again. Why did she have to nag around every time every day? She was stalking on him. "You again?"  
  
Sakuragi then lifted his chin and looked at his friend. He wanted to catch the conversation between Rukawa and the caller.  
  
"I'm sorry to keep bothering you... But can you tell Sakuragi to avoid drinking soda?" Said Mifuyu. Rukawa looked around the dining place to spot her. However she was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Where the hell are you?" He shot a question with a harsh and strong voice. It irritates him to receive phone calls from her asking about her son's being. Hell, even though he is concerned about Sakuragi's health he is not his babysitter 24/7 a week.  
  
"Who is it, Kitsune?" Sakuragi's curiousness grew. Who could be bothering Rukawa this much?  
  
"I am... in Starbucks on the right-hand side of the restaurant, Kaede-kun... I'm sorry to keep bothering you."  
  
Rukawa rose from his seat and then walked over the narrow hallway to the edge near the restrooms. He wanted to speak clearly without Sakuragi being able to hear about it."Whatever, miss... if you ARE concerned about him you should stop following us around and just show yourself. I'm getting sick of this hide and seek thing. Your son's life is in jeopardy here and you cant continue doing this, okay? I cant watch over him all the time... He needs you, for God's sake..."  
  
Mifuyu paused for a moment. "Suman..." Her voice was trembling. "I know I am a selfish person... But I need your help for the time being... I... I'll find a way to reveal myself to him soon but in the mean time... I..."  
  
"...You should... I'll help the best I can but I can't do everything by myself, Mifuyu-san..." He then hung up. And then as he turned around he saw Sakuragi standing just a few feet away.  
  
"Who the hell is that? Mifuyu-san?!"  
  
Rukawa looked aside and then narrowed his eyes. "It's my goddamned tax attorney... It's nobody..."  
  
Thank goodness Sakuragi wasn't curious about anything. He smiled and then just walked out the dining parlor. "In case you're wondering the lunch's on me. Just to appreciate your help back then..." He put an ear-to-ear smile on his face. "But don't expect me to pay for you any other time later!" He snickered.  
  
Rukawa only smiled as he placed his cell phone into his pocket. "Thanks," he said lazily. "What are we going to do now?"  
  
With his sneakers he kicked the dry leaves from the pavement and then turned around. "I don't know... Play basketball?"  
  
Rukawa looked down as he watched his feet digging his way into the piles of the dry autumn leaves. "No." He shrugged. "I'm... not in the mood..." He lied. He just didn't want Sakuragi to get wasted for he knew he wasn't fully recovered from the last time he fainted.  
  
"Since when are you not in the mood for a one-on-one game?" The redhead raised an eyebrow. "Oh well... I guess I'm in the mood for a coke." He then began to run towards a canned drinks machine vendor right in front of a bookstore.  
  
Seeing him run Rukawa's eyes snatched wide open and then he also began to run and followed him. He got to the vendor before him. "No!" He took Sakuragi's arms abruptly.  
  
"The hell?! You're hurting me!" Quickly Sakuragi pulled his arms from Rukawa's grip.  
  
"You cant drink Coke or any other soda." He quickly informed.  
  
"The hell? Where did you get that from?"  
  
Rukawa looked aside and sighed. "Umm... the doctor..."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"And... are you okay? You can't really move a lot you know..." Rukawa bit his lower lip.  
  
Sakuragi shrugged. "I walked all the way downtown. That means I moved a lot, right?"  
  
"Yeah... but you can't really run..."  
  
Sakuragi cussed beneath his breath and kicked an empty can right beside his shoes. "The fuck?! It's just a frickin' pain in the chest it is nothing!! I only fainted once and what the hell does that supposed to mean?"  
  
The raven-haired boy took a deep breath and slid his hands into his pants' pockets. "You fainted twice, not once. That means more than nothing."  
  
"Now what else did that Doctor tells you? I got a fucking heart attack or something? Geez... She's making things up... I don't give a shit... Why didn't she just tell it to me, huh? What kind of a doctor is that? Where did you get her, the streets?"  
  
"...Cause she's not a doctor and if she tells you the whole thing you'll..." Rukawa whispered to himself.  
  
"What?!" It seems like Sakuragi happened to hear a part of what Rukawa had said. "What did you say?"  
  
Rukawa didn't reply. He just looked at Sakuragi straight in the eye. Pissed because of the response that he got, Sakuragi grabbed Rukawa's shirt and pushed him onto the vendor machine. "Answer me, bitch?! Are you hiding something from me?!" Again, Rukawa didn't answer. He just looked at the ground as the cold air was stinging the tip of his ears. This time it really pushes him through his patience. Sakuragi cursed aloud and swung his arms. His clenched fist hit Rukawa's jaws, causing a few drops of blood trickling down to his chin.  
  
Rukawa's ego didn't let him stay calm after he was hit. He knew that the Sakuragi was weak in a way that he was dying but he couldn't let him beat him up. So then he punched him back straight in the face and Sakuragi rolled to the floor. Before he could manage to get up Rukawa grabbed his sweater and pulled him up. This time it was his turn to pin Sakuragi to the vendor machine. On the state of being nailed Sakuragi couldn't move both his arms. He tried to fight with his legs but Rukawa's also nailed them. He then spat on Rukawa's face.  
  
Angry, Rukawa banged the back of Sakuragi's head onto the machine. "Bitch... if only you weren't..."  
  
"Weren't what, asshole?!"  
  
Rukawa threw him to the floor. "I hate to tell you... but since you want it bad... You'll have it..."  
  
Sakuragi got back on his feet and dusted the leaves off his trousers. "What? What is it that is hard for you to say? Sheesh!"  
  
Rukawa's face expression changed. He looked aside as he gathered up the words in his mouth. "What's so hard for me to say... to you..." With his fingers he wiped the trickling blood from his chin. "You..."  
  
Sakuragi was puzzled as he saw the expression on Rukawa's face. It looked painful and sad. "...I am... what?" His curiousness helped his temper to calm down.  
  
Finally Rukawa looked up and then his eyes met his. He took a step closer. "You are..."  
  
"Stop!!!" Sakuragi's mom came rushing from the end of the pavement. She cried out aloud and ran towards their directions. She stumbled a few time due to the knee-rise leather boot with heels that she wore.  
  
"...Suffering Leukemia..." Rukawa closed his eyes as the last words escaped his lips.  
  
:: To Be Continued ::  
  
a.n :: long time no update, huh? The usual readers might've been bored of Slam Dunk but oh well... I guess I'll finish this fic for the sake of those who WILL eventually read and review... =) 


	10. postcards from the heart

"You...  
  
...Suffered Leukemia..."  
  
It echoed in his mind. The words bounced around the walls of his head. He shivered as he stood still in silence.  
  
"No!!" The woman recognized in an ivory trench coat rushed to the scene and finally came between the two of them. Her breaths panting and her long dark locks covered her face. She looked in dread at the two, Sakuragi and Rukawa.  
  
At the sole of his shoes Sakuragi felt the ground trembling and tearing apart. What was said must not be true. He couldn't take Rukawa's words into his heart. Instead, he pushed it aside. Quivering, Hanamichi shook his redhead in disbelief. Flabbergasted, he laughed awkwardly as his brows scrunched up to the middle of his forehead. "Bullshit," he spat the words out from his pair of dry lips. "Fuck you, Kitsune... It's all bullshit, huh?" He cocked his head and placed a palm on his waist while the other remained in his trousers' pocket.  
  
Rukawa sighed and ran his hands up his bangs, afraid to say another word and confused of what to do next. He shouldn't tell him, but what could he do? Sakuragi needs to know the truth. In the point of this scene there's no chance he would ever believe in what he had said. His pale face grew stern.  
  
"Hanamichi..." The woman, who was partially a stranger to both of them clasped her hands and closed her eyes. At the sight of it Rukawa was somewhat nauseated. What was she thinking? Didn't she know that her presence could just make things worse?  
  
Sakuragi only stared at her blankly. Nobody could guess about what was going on in his mind. The only thing he knew now is that she was the doctor that visited him back in Rukawa's house. His eyes then altered back to Rukawa's and gazed into his deeply.  
  
A hand landed on Mifuyu's shoulder. It was Rukawa. She looked at him with confusion but Rukawa stayed still. His hands then pushed her forward a bit, causing her to stumble to the front. "Tell him," he said slowly.  
  
"No!" She immediately retorted. Her eyes were wide as she threw back her glance at the raven-haired boy. Deep inside her heart she had no guts to speak directly to her son, particularly about the disease. "Kaede-kun..."  
  
Perplexed at the sight of the scene Sakuragi couldn't take it anymore. His mind was bearing the truth that Rukawa had handed to him. He was trapped in the world of his own, blinded by confusion. "Just whatever," he said in a trembling voice. "Screw you..." He then quickly twisted his hips and made a run out of the sight into who knows where.  
  
Just right after he left Rukawa slid both his hands into his pocket as the air grew heavier. He then started to walk away, but a hand caught his jacket. "Why did you tell?" Mifuyu's face was filled with worries, angst and disappointment at the same time. Rukawa's steps halted. Mifuyu slowly let go of his sweaters. "You know this is not the right time..."  
  
"What? You want to wait for the time until he eventually died?" He snorted, sickened.  
  
The lady in long tresses of wavy dark brown hair looked down at the pavement as people walked pass through the two of them. She bit her lips and then sighed. Both of her hands and her fingers crumpled into a fist, grabbing tight to her handbag. "No... but this is a bad timing... we should---"  
  
"What? Wait another time? You know he doesn't have much time left..." True. What Rukawa said was true. Indeed, the son is suffering. Time will not wait for him. Seeing that Mifuyu gave no reply to him he decided to just walk and get away from her. But then he stopped and twisted his waist so that his face was facing her direction. "Tell me where Sakuragi lives..."  
  
The door slammed close. Sakuragi ran all the way up the stairs and finally entered his room. He shut the door tight behind him and slid his back down to the floor. He was too taken aback he couldn't speak. His thoughts were all blurry and it seems like everything were going so fast. Beads of cold sweat gathered around his face and his neck, ready to roll down and wet his shirt.  
_  
This couldn't be... What the hell was Kitsune saying? Leukemia? Hell no.  
_  
No. No way. This is way too harsh. The scene and the words all played back in his mind. Then something stood out, the lady. The doctor? What was she doing in there? What brings her around? Sakuragi buried his head deep in his arms and tried to throw things aside.  
  
Knock knock.  
  
The redhead almost jumped when he heard the door behind his back knocking. It just pulled him out back to reality. He dared not to open; he just didn't want somebody walking into this right now. He wanted to be alone. "Get lost," he crawled to his bed and sat there alone.  
  
Rukawa refused to leave. Instead he entered the room without waiting for further permission. Sakuragi somehow knew that it would be him therefore he didn't move his eyes an inch from the wooden floor. "What the hell are you doing here? Did you forget to mention that I also suffered bronchitis or maybe brain damage?" He snickered.  
  
"I forget to tell..." Mifuyu, who was previously hiding behind Rukawa's broad shoulders slid to the front and approached the redhead. Just as she was a foot away from Sakuragi she knelt and tried to smile. "Hello, Hanamichi...."  
  
"Doctor..." he greeted lazily in a whispery voice.  
  
Mifuyu placed a hand upon Sakuragi's and tried to look at his eyes. "Hanamichi, I'm sorry..."  
  
"For what?"  
  
She paused for a moment. "For lying to you..."  
  
Quickly Sakuragi snatched his hands away from Mifuyu's palms and crossed his arms. "Geez you didn't lie, you just don't tell..."  
  
Shaking her head, she closed her eyes. "No. I did lie to you."  
  
Finally, Hanamichi returned her gaze as he tilted his chin. He was a bit confused. What could she now possibly lie about? Why do things have to get worse and complicated? "Huh?"  
  
Mifuyu stopped for a moment to gather her strength. So many times she had heaved in a deep breath and bit her lower lip. But then she managed to assembled words into sentences in her mind. She then bent down and opened her bag and pulled out a pile of postcards. Some of them were already old, they were getting yellow and dirty at the edges. She looked at it for a while and then handed it to him. "I've been waiting to give you these..." She sighed. "But I can't..."  
  
Rukawa took a step and leaned forward to see what the postcards were all about. Both pairs of Hanamichi's eyes widened as he carefully scan through the cards. Some of them were postcards of basketball players, some are just plain. Carefully he flipped the first on top of the pile and read the message.  
_  
'Hanamichi... How are you? I hope you are doing fine... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'  
_  
He lifted his head and looked at the woman kneeling in front of him. This must be a dream. The woman is his mother by his own blood! Sakuragi's jaws almost dropped to the floor. He couldn't believe it. All these times he had been waiting for her to drop by in his life. Never thought that it would come true, but now here she is. He doesn't know what he felt now. There were anger, happiness, disbelief and curiousness stirred within. But all he knew now is to find out more about the mystery within the postcards. With his hands he took the next and flipped it over.  
_  
'Hanamichi... I've been wanting to see you... Can we meet? – Sakuragi Mifuyu'  
_  
He placed the read ones on his side and then read the next.  
_  
'Hanamichi... Are you doing fine? Please, take care of yourself... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'  
_  
He put the card on the side with the other read cards and read the next. There were heaps of them. Most of them were filled with short messages, Sakuragi was beginning to get impatient. But he did not say a word and he continued to read the next.  
_  
'Hanamichi... I wanted to tell you something... I... Hope we can meet... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'  
_  
Sakuragi felt his heart skipped a beat. Eager, he read the next.  
_  
'Hanamichi, if you feel any certain kind of pain, don't hesitate to contact the doctor... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'  
_  
What the...?  
_  
'Hanamichi... Please, I'm sorry... I've been waiting to tell you something but I can't... Can we get together sometime? – Sakuragi Mifuyu'  
_  
Then finally the next card almost made his heart stopped beating.  
_  
'You're dying... I'm sorry, Hanamichi... - no names attached'  
_  
His hands begin to tremble. He then carefully took the next and flipped it over.  
  
_'Hanamichi... you're suffering Leukemia... I'm sorry... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'_  
_  
'Hanamichi... you are suffering a serious disease... I'm sorry I don't know how to say this the right way... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'_  
  
Then the next few cards said the similar things concerning his disease. His hands grew weak but he continued to read the next. The next have lots of scribbles on it, unlike the previous cards that only contained of not more than 3 sentences at most. Sakuragi squinted his eyes nervously and began to read.  
_  
'Hanamichi... This is what I've been trying to tell you. Yes, I'm sorry, you are dying... You are suffering a minor blood cancer way back since you were born... Doctor said you won't probably make it through your teenage years... I'm sorry... And I am the one left to blame... I've been trying to find a way to tell you this but I didn't have the strength to tell... I'm sorry... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'  
_  
The hand grew loose and the card fell on the floor. His eyes were wide in shock, Mifuyu dared to not look at him. "...You abandoned me... and now you said that... I am... dying?"  
  
"No... It wasn't true... I did not abandon you. I just couldn't find the strength to meet with you again... I am scared..."  
  
Shaking his head, a tear rolled down his cheek. His pair of dry lips now is trembling. He tried to speak but words were stuck in his throat. "...Bullshit..." He glared at his mother's eyes. ones that were in the color of hazel just like his. "Bullshit!!" He cried on the top of his lungs. All the pieces of the cards all fell down and scattered on the floor. "Get away from me! Leave!!"  
  
Mifuyu was trying to gather the postcards back to a pile but she stopped as she heard Hanamichi screaming out loud, telling her to get lost. She felt her heart breaking but what can she do? Her son is at an emotional stage right now and perhaps it is best to just leave him alone for a while.  
  
"Leave!!" Once more Sakuragi shouted out. Mifuyu lowered her head, picked up her handbag and stood up.  
  
"I'm sorry, Hanami---"  
  
"LEAVE!!" He stomped his foot and pointed out his fingers towards the door out. Mifuyu gasped and then scurried out from his sight, leaving only Sakuragi and Rukawa alone.  
  
Sakuragi tried to catch his breath. His heart pounded loud in his chest, beating right to the skin. Shoulders shaking and face filled with tears, Sakuragi slumped to his the pillows right in front of the walls beside his bed. He placed the back of his palms on his forehead and closed his eyes.  
  
Rukawa grabbed a tissue box on top of his desk and handed it to him. Still crying silently Hanamichi ignored him. Therefore he sat down beside him and pulled a few tissues to his hand and kept it between his hands. He looked to the side and watched Hanamichi's tears trickling down to his chin. "...Just laugh if you want..." He finally broke the silence. Rukawa gave no reply. He kept looking at him and he didn't said a word. "...Damn, this is funny... hella funny..." He said between his sobs, smiling bitterly to himself. "...I'm an abandoned kid and yeah, I'm dying... aint that funny...?"  
  
Rukawa's hands slowly moved upwards and smothered the tears from Hanamichi's face with tissue. It only made him cry harder. Instantly he bailed aloud and crinkled his brows, trying to fight back his tears by clenching his jaws. It hurts to see a person whose world had just turned upside down. It hurts to see someone so alive dying. It just hurts to see him cry. Sakuragi tossed Rukawa's hands from his face and walked over to the window as he kept crying. He leaned his forehead to the glass surface as the rain was pouring down. Rukawa followed him and slid his arms to Sakuragi's waist.  
  
"...Don't cry..."  
  
Sakuragi was pretty much startled by Rukawa's arms that wrapped around his waist. The freshman known as the Super Rookie pulled his arms tighter.  
  
"...You... can push me if... you don't want me to---"  
  
Instead of pushing his arms aside Sakuragi twisted his waist and leaned on Rukawa's shoulders, arms wrapping around his neck. He was not ashamed now, he cried aloud on him, pouring the sadness of his heart out. Hearing him cry tears Rukawa's heart too. And that was the point where Rukawa had decided on himself. He will do whatever he could do to help this lad from misery. He will bring him out of despair. He will take care of him even though he will leave someday.  
  
a.n :: messy chapter! I guess it's pretty much, OK, though... I was listening to David Tao as I was listening to this... huu... made me sad. 


	11. how far is heaven?

The morning sunlight shone through the thin glass window and landed on Rukawa's face. The feeling of the heat of the sun pulled him away from his deep sleep onto the surface. Slowly he tried to lift his drowsy lids and opened his eyes. Just as he was about to sit up he felt something burdening his chest. He looked down and found Hanamichi sleeping peacefully on top of him, eyes wide shut and lips merely parted. Yes he remembered. Hanamichi had been crying all night to him. Perhaps he needed some rest for now. Rukawa leaned back and took a deep breath. He tried to shut his eyes again and sleep for if he rose from the bed it would disturb Hanamichi's peaceful sleep.  
  
Since the odds are against him Rukawa couldn't fall back to his slumber. The piercing sunshine was heating up inches of Rukawa's pale cheek. It gave him peculiar sensation of a mixture between the cold morning air and the rays of sunlight. He sighed and arched his head back to sink into the pillow and nailed his pair of cobalt blue eyes onto the ceiling. My my my, he had just remembered. Today is Monday and both of them should be going to school. But oh well, what harm could taking off school for a day be? He altered his sight towards the sleeping do'aho that rested his face upon Rukawa's shirt. He seems to be enjoying his sleep. After a day full of catastrophe what dream could he have for the night? Hopefully happy ones.  
  
Looking around the room he spotted an alarm clock on the computer desk. The time was 10 past 11 am. Boy was he really late for school or what? Once more Rukawa sighed. His feet was starting to get numb as Sakuragi had pressed his weight onto it the whole night through. Rukawa eyed the redhead once more and this time he ran his hand through his dyed locks. It was soft and smooth.  
  
It was hard to belief that a man like him with the persona of bravery, strength, courage and spirit was so fragile. For these past few days things are starting to move faster. Don't know when Sakuragi's time will finally end. No. Rukawa shook the thought of it away and then closed his eyes. "Hanamichi..." he murmured softly at first.  
  
There was no sign that Sakuragi was conscious. Of course, he was still wandering off in some place called La La Land or whatever that might be. He called out his name once more with a louder tone. Sakuragi only tighten his eyelids and moaned a bit but he didn't open his eyes. "Hanamichi!" Rukawa's voice was almost a scream and he tapped the self-proclaimed genius on the head. "Wake up!"  
  
Sakuragi pulled the corner of his lips to his left cheek and then rolled off from Rukawa's chest to the corner of the bed. Good. Now he can actually get out of bed. He quickly tossed his feet to the floor and then stretched as he stood up. That was a tiring night, wasn't it? Thank goodness he had a nice sleep. Now it is time for shower and breakfast.  
  
Rukawa immediately walked over to Sakuragi's closet and searched for clothing that would pretty much fit his taste. Most of Sakuragi's wardrobe were white colored t-shirts. The rest would be other colored or image- printed shirt. For the pants Sakuragi had nothing much but some washed out Levi's hipster jeans and some sport shorts that he usually used for basketball. But somewhere between the stacks of clothes Rukawa had managed to find a black Nike trainer with white stripes. He had one that looked just like this back in his house and he wore it a lot. Carefully he pulled it away from the stacks of folded clothing and placed it on the floor. For the last piece of clothing Rukawa didn't bothered much. He just took one boxers and then walked into the bathroom straight.  
  
After Rukawa finished the shower he found Sakuragi already sitting on the corner of his bed. "Ohayo," he greeted in a husky voice. Seems like he lost his voice.  
  
"Ohayo," Rukawa hailed him back as he dried off his hair with a green towel. "How's your sleep?"  
  
Sakuragi shrugged. "It's okay, I guess?" Rukawa gave no reply. As the super rookie sat down onto the bed the redhead stood up and walked into the bathroom. He let the door open. From the gap between the door and its frame Rukawa could see that he was looking at the mirror. "Damn..." he begin softly. "Don't I look handsome for a dying dude?"  
  
Astonished by his sense of humor Rukawa broke into laughter. Sakuragi smiled as he heard Rukawa's hearty laugh. It was rare. He should've got it on tape and make money out of it. "Do'aho," Rukawa sneered.  
  
"Hey that was meant to be a sarcasm..." Sakuragi walked out from the bathroom back and stood before Rukawa. He then lifted his hand and pointed at his face, particularly focusing on the dark soggy eye bags. "This is not handsome."  
  
"True," Rukawa agreed. "You looked dreadful. Go get a shower."  
  
"Fine... You go cook me some of your tasty French toast, then..."  
  
They both sat in silence, busy chewing on their own breakfasts. Both took turns stealing glances at each other. They got caught for a few times by each other.  
  
"Stop looking at me," Sakuragi spoke with his mouth jammed with pieces of the egg-covered bread loaves.  
  
Rukawa sharpened his eyes. His ego burned inside of him and was afraid to admit that he had been eyeing his rival in basketball. "YOU stop looking at me... it's annoying." They both then remembered to the days back when they could spend the whole afternoon quarreling about silly things with each other. But then for now they stopped and exchanged stares in silence. "You noticed we skipped school today?" Rukawa tried to change the topic.  
  
Sakuragi nodded. Mouth still full of food.  
  
"So then what are we going to do for the rest of the day?"  
  
Finally the redhead swallowed and cleared his throat. "I don't know. Got any suggestions?"  
  
Rukawa shrugged. "No." He replied shortly.  
  
Hanamichi paused for a moment. He tried to skim through places around Kanagawa that may seem appropriate for the current moment. The mall will be too crowded, downtown will be boring since they went there yesterday, the school's not an option, and basketball courts were currently prohibited for him. Then something popped to his mind. "Yeah, why not the dock? I heard Smiley often spend his time fishin' or doing God-knows-what over there..." Rukawa simply shrugged in reply. Anything will surely sound good rather than dozing off in this house. As he stood up he grabbed the empty plate and walked over to the washbasin. Sakuragi trailed him and finally stood beside him and handed over his plate. "Nee... When was the last time you went over to the dock?"  
  
Slowly he let the water rain down onto the surface of the plate as his other hand drenched the sponge with soap water. It was not long ago, actually, but he refused to speak. His mind was focused to scrub the stains off the dishes. Both stood quiet. Not a sound other than the streaming water from the tap filled the air around them. As Rukawa felt satisfied watching his pale fingers pressing and rubbing the sponge onto the plate over and over again, he placed the dishes aside and turned the water off. "...Let's go." He finally broke the ice between them. Sakuragi won't let him be bothered by the awkward air that hung around them. Instead he just tailed Rukawa out of the house.  
  
Right as his left foot hit the outside ground he breathed in the fresh air. The redhead smiled bitterly to himself and slid both his hands into his parachute jacket. The rays of the morning sunshine made him feel alive as ever. Sakuragi lifted his head and looked at the one that used to be his archenemy walking silently in front of him. His thoughts traced back to last night when Rukawa confronted him from despair. Never have he thought that he would be the one who will catch him when his walls tear apart. "Rukawa..." He called out his name, almost a whisper.  
  
The kitsune halted his steps and lazily turned his hips to face him. "What?"  
  
The ear-to-ear smile on Hanamichi's face stirred curiosity within Rukawa's chest. He knew that the do'aho had something to say. He waited patiently. Seconds past and neither moved a bit. After taking one final deep breath, Hanamichi parted his lips to let the words tumble out of his mouth. "Thanks..."  
  
That one word only caused Rukawa to cock one of his thick dark brows in confusion. "For what?" He instantly shot back, overwhelmed with bewilderment.  
  
Hanamichi then took a few steps forward and smacked Rukawa's back gently as his smile grew to a grin. "Last night..." The words were only meant to fish out hints. Seeing that Rukawa still stood in silence Hanamichi laughed a bit. "Maa... Never mind..." He then tugged the bit of Rukawa's sweaters and walked forward. "Let's just head to the dock."  
  
The sun was up high in the midst of the crystal clear sky when both of them reached the bay. No one was in sight, nothing but blue waters that ran endlessly towards the horizon. As Sakuragi had finally run out of space to walk upon he knelt down and sat on the edge of the wooden dock. He then let out a sigh of joy and relief. Slowly Rukawa followed him from behind and then sat on the empty space beside Hanamichi. "What are we going to do now?" He questioned in a monotone voice.  
  
"I don't know?" Hanamichi shrugged. They haven't really planned for anything for the day. "I wish we got a fishing rod..."  
  
Rukawa gave no reply. He gazed deeply into the curling waves that hugged onto the white sands of the shore. The sunshine seemed to make the water glittering in gold, reflecting onto Rukawa's pair of indigo's eyes. Without making any noise Hanamichi stared at him for a moment and then threw his back out to the air and landed onto the wood. He squinted his hazel eyes and nailed them onto the cloudless skies. "Hey..."  
  
"Hm?" Sakuragi rested his red head onto his crossed arms that he laid behind his neck.  
  
Rukawa lifted his leg and brought his knee onto his chin. Both his hands then tied up the shoelace of his Nike Air Jordan. When he finished he hugged his leg close to his chest and sighed. "...How far is heaven?"  
  
Interesting. That question never came to Sakuragi's mind. More, he never imagined that Rukawa would be the one to raise the issue. He smiled a bit and lifted his back as his palms supported his shoulders from the base of the wooden harbor floor. "In my case... It's not very far..."  
  
"Don't say that." Rukawa immediately snapped back. Why does he have to bring the matter of Leukemia back in times like these? "You are not sure... you haven't check... You never knew if it apparently turns better..."  
  
Still smiling, Hanamichi breathed in deeply. By that he know is reassured that Rukawa was truly concerned of him. However death is a factor that he cannot escape. "...Thanks. But even though I haven't gone through any check ups I know... I know I... that my body is somehow getting weaker..." He hated to say this. He almost choked and wished he did.  
  
Rukawa's brows furrowed in agony. How he wished he didn't hear him say that. "Well..." He paused to find the appropriate words. "...You'll never know if there's a cure..."  
  
"I hope they do... But whatever that is, I'd like to see heaven..." Once more he looked up to the sky.  
  
Rukawa clenched his fist tight he almost felt that the tip of his nails will tear into the skin of his palm. He felt his heart sank into the bottom of his chest. He bit his lower lip as an effort to fight back the pain of the thought of losing someone. Rukawa had never came close to death. He never knew any relatives or anyone who had met their time. He barely knew anybody. And now just as he was about to get as close as he could imagine with someone, he was about to face death. How he despise the thought of it, how he despised fate. Rukawa dared not to look at him, he didn't want to see the expression of Sakuragi's face. Well, precisely he didn't want Sakuragi to look at his face that was full of bitterness.  
  
A cloud began to cross the sky. "When I was a kid I used to think that heaven is full of ice cream castles and the cottons are edible cotton candies. There are fairies flying all over the place, sprinkling golden dust all over the face. The best part of it is that we all have wings!" Sakuragi exclaimed in delight as he reminisce back to his childhood thoughts. His lips then curled to a faint smile. "Somehow I still believe in it... And now I can't believe to see it..."  
  
Out of the blue Rukawa reached out his arms and pulled the redhead to his embrace. He wrapped his arms around him tight, afraid of letting go. "Shut up." Though his voice was cold and stern, somehow Sakuragi could feel a hint of bitterness and sorrow. He was too perplexed to push him aside. For now all that he could do was blushing and remained silent for his mouth was muffled with Rukawa's sweater fabric. "I don't want to hear any of those stupid things, you hear? Heaven or death, whatever that may be, I don't want to hear!"  
  
Sakuragi placed a hand on Rukawa's back. His heartbeat began to race in the speed of light. He could smell the masculine cologne on Rukawa's clothes. Boy, he loved the smell of it.  
  
"...What the hell, Hanamichi..." His voice began to tremble. "Don't make it sound easy for you to say things about death... I'm the one who can't bear hearing about it..."  
  
Hanamichi's eyes popped wider. He then managed to push Rukawa back a bit in order to give him space to breathe. Hanamichi then looked deep into Rukawa's eyes. Emotions all gathered and stirred in his pair of cobalt eyes. It pierced deep into Sakuragi's heart. Slowly he traced the outline of Rukawa's pale face with his fingers. "I'm scared of death but I am quite ready..."  
  
"I am scared and I'M not prepared...!!" Rukawa bursted out. He then panted for air. "Stop being so selfish, Hanamichi... You didn't know how the ones you left will feel if you're gone, right? What about your Mom? Or Akagi- sempai? Ayako-sempai? Haruko? Mitsui-sempai... Kogure-sempai... Miyagi-sempai... Anzai-sensei... What about me?!"  
  
"What am I to do??!?!" It was almost a shriek. Hanamichi had raised his tone towards Rukawa, almost making him jump. "Then what am I supposed to do?!?! Do you think I ever WISH for this disease?!" A single tear rolled down his flushed red cheek.  
  
Rukawa slumped his shoulders and reached out his fingers to wipe off the bead of teardrop from his face.  
  
"I am MORE SCARED than any of you, for your information...!! I have to face death ALONE!!" Now he cried harder. Tears streamed down his face down to his chin. Then dripping off and soaked his shirt. "...I tried to change my perspective of the worst but you made my effort seemed worthless...!!"  
  
They both stared at each other in silence. There was nothing more but the sound of the crashing waves. "...I'm sorry..." Rukawa then grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight.  
_  
'Indeed, he is the one who is afraid most...'  
_  
"I'm sorry..." Once more Rukawa repeated. Hanamichi shut his eyes tight and let him bawl like a baby. He helplessly leaned forward and rested his forehead onto Rukawa's shoulder. Rukawa raised his fingers and ran them through Sakuragi's red-dyed locks, soft and smooth. He patted gently a few times and then rubbed his back to the midst of his spine, trying to ease him down. "...I'm sorry." The words escaped his lips one more time.  
  
Rukawa hugged him close as his tears subsided. "...We can at least find out about things that we can do for you... Go to a doctor and get a possible treatment..." Suggested the raven-haired boy. "And through it all, I promise I'll be with you... I'll be by your side..."  
  
"...I promise you won't be alone... whatever the situation is..."  
  
"I promise..."  
  
**a.n ::** I'm really really really really sorry for the lateness of the update!!! I had final exams and other things that were crammed up to my schedule... ;; to make it up to ya I have written a special chapter where it is longer than before!! ;  
  
oh yeah... another favor to make it up to you... I'll take this more like 'polling'... _do you guys want a happy ending or sad ending?_ I got two ideas now, and I'm quite confused... so if u be willing **just place ur vote** on the reviews section! I would really appreciate your voice =) 


End file.
